And in this corner: Let’s bring boxing to the NCAA
The newly formed World Boxing Union (WBU) is awarding over, er,
heavyweight champion George Foreman its belt tomorrow, muddling
further the alphabet soup of boxing.
In addition to the much-coveted title of the WBU, boxing waist
lines have to stretch to wear the belts of the IBF (International
Boxing Federation), the laughable WBC (World Boxing Council), the
WBA (World Boxing Association) and the ORBA (Oughta Retire Boxing
Association), though titles in the latter are sought only by Larry
Holmes, Roberto Duran and Alexis Arguello.
What makes all these organizations comical is how much each
thins the talent pool of respective weight divisions from the
other. A flyweight in one is a bantamweight in another. There are
so many belts out there now, boxers have taken to throwing one over
each shoulder, carrying one in their hand, and wearing one as a
scarf.
But don’t fret, sports fans, I have a solution: Let’s muddy the
soup further by throwing four more letters into the mix.
NCAA.
That’s right, let’s give the sport back its legitimacy; let’s
make it an NCAA sport.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re saying. It’d never work, you’re
thinking. The danger, the morality, the moronity, the, the, the
idea. It’s deplorable.
But wait! I’ve given this whole boxing thing some thought, and I
really don’t think it would be as bad as you first might think.
For starters, the world of boxing would be turned on its ear.
Promising young scrappers would be lured to come to schools like
UCLA, spurning more lucrative offers from people like Don King or
Lou Duva. Sure, it may be hard at first to recruit the best and
brightest away from the big money, but ultimately they’d realize:
No amount of money beats a top-rate education.
This would undoubtedly unsettle at least two of the Mickey-Mouse
alphabet-outfits that litter the boxing community. The stern,
honest hand of the good ol’ NCAA would give credibility to a sport
so badly damaged by scandal. Regulation would be taken out of the
hands of someone like King and be given over to a tight-shipper
like Bobby Bowden.
NCAA regulation would also give an opportunity to many they
never thought possible. Steps could be taken, for example, to lower
the minimum entrance exams for all boxers. Instead of guessing the
definition of "serpentine," tests would be reshaped to include
challenging questions that vary in approach. "If you have 32 teeth
in your mouth, and one of them is gold, how many teeth are
real?"
History questions could be reformulated. No more irrelevant
analogies like "bread: loaf, finger: (hand)." Instead, "ground:
feet, mat: (Gerry Cooney’s back)."
Take Mike Tyson  sure, he failed a high school equivalency
test, but if the prospect of college were there, he might just have
studied harder for "Nouns: Every Sentence Has to Has One!" and
Chapter 11 Â "Subtraction: Addition’s Tricky Friend."
Tyson is but one of thousands whose life could be improved by
the addition of boxing to the list of college sports. On a purely
practical level, boxing fits more into the scheme of top-level
world competition than other sports currently endorsed by the
NCAA.
For example, college-level tennis players will almost never
compete in the upper echelon of the world rankings. Collegiate
women gymnasts are well beyond their prime. But boxers, they’d have
somewhere to move on to after their eligibility expired.
Tyson was 19 when he hit the cover of Sports Illustrated. At 20
he was a champion. The prospect for publicity for a university like
UCLA is staggering.
Sure, gender equity proponents will certainly cry foul should
boxing be implemented. Boxing scholarships would throw off the
balance of schools like UCLA fighting to come into line with Title
IX rules. But, I have a solution to this, too.
Female boxing. That’s right  equal opportunity sport, no
gender bias, no gender equity infractions. Billed right up there
alongside the guys, who would share equal time on the undercard.
"And in the blue corner, weighing in at a cool 145 pounds, the Lady
from Grady, ‘Toothless’ Marie Davidson."
And imagine the revenue. You thought the football team or the
NCAA basketball tournament was a huge source of money? Just picture
the kind of cash flowing for a ringside seat to an NCAA heavyweight
championship at a sold-out Pauley Pavilion. It’d be enough to give
everyone in the athletic department a raise, plus bring back sports
like shooting and wrestling.
Sure these are the tangibles. But imagine the intangibles,
things that could come as a result of NCAA-sanctioned title bouts.
Little kids playing in the streets, imitating their favorite boxers
from Duke or Michigan. On-campus competition for the walk-on
positions on the team. Dorm bouts: Hedrick Hall Heavyweights or
Sunset Superflyweights.
Clearly, the impetus is on the NCAA to sponsor boxing. And while
it’s a longshot  the NCAA can be hardheaded  it’s not
an unwinnable battle. Remember, even Gerry Cooney won now and
again.