Check, please: splitting the expense of dating
Gender equality may not apply to Bruin pocketbooks
By Princeton Kim
Beyond the constant rigors of college life, some students say
dating remains an important aspect of UCLA.
Students juggle budgets to pay for rent, utilities and tuition,
as well as social activities such as dating. Although the tradition
of years past had men footing the bill for social activities, many
women at UCLA said they pay their share on dates.
"I always pay for myself. Guys usually take the initiative, but
I make it clear that I’m paying. I tell them that I don’t accept
gifts," said Melanie Brooks, first-year business economics
student.
The movement toward financial equality has not only allowed
women to take the initiative, but led some men to expect a woman to
bear some of the costs.
"A guy can pay sometimes and a girl can pay sometimes. But it is
absolutely not the guy’s responsibility, regardless of who asks who
out," stated Chris Putro, a chemistry graduate student.
Yet other students said they believe men should bear the
financial responsibility on dates.
"Usually on first dates, I pay because it makes a good
impression and it’s tradition," said Rene Olmos, a fourth-year
political science student.
Many of the male students on campus agreed that on first dates,
a guy should pay. Yet, as the relationship progresses, men feel the
cost should be shared equally.
"Most of the time I pay, especially on first dates, but it’s
cool if girls offer. But now my girlfriend pays sometimes because
we go out a lot, and I can’t afford to pay all of the time," said
Thuc Nguyen, second-year chemistry student.
Some students believe sharing the bill relieves the pressures of
dates. In some cases, women said they don’t want to feel obligated
toward a man just because he pays. They feel a need to show
responsibility and independence by paying.
"If I pay for my share, it provides a more friendly environment.
If a guy can’t afford to pay, he should just be honest," Brooks
commented.
But a portion of women on campus prefer to let men assume the
responsibility of payment.
"Most of my friends expect the guy to pay because they think
that if you don’t have to pay, why should you?" Brooks added.
In contrast, some men at UCLA have avoided the situation of cost
all together. They simply don’t pay for dates or they invite women
to participate in activities which don’t require money.
"Most of the guys I meet don’t ask girls out on dates. They ask
if you want to go kick it. The idea of paying for anything doesn’t
cross their mind because they think it has to be expensive. But it
doesn’t, Burger King is fine, or even just saying ‘Hey, I bought a
pint of Haagen Daz, come over’ is okay," said Cori Tahara,
second-year English student.
In light of this sentiment, some women say that most men here on
campus are miserly.
"Most of the undergraduate guys that I’ve met here are
cheap,"said Kito Millet, a second-year psychology student. "They
won’t offer to pay, not even for a rented movie. But if a girl
offers, they’ll say yes."