Friday, October 25, 1996
Male and female dating roles more ambiguous in changing times;
some are confused on what is politically correct on the first
date
politically correct on the ‘first date.’By Adrienne Martinez
Daily Bruin Contributor
n today’s society, it can be difficult to know who should take
the reigns in a relationship, especially with the factors of
economics and sociological expectations.
In the past, men have generally paid for dates and been the
initiators of sexual activity, said Kathy Rose-Mockry, the director
of the Women’s Resource Center.
In the ’90s, however, women have begun to rise up and take their
share of the burden of decision-making on the quest for Mr./Ms.
Right.
"It’s slowly evolving," Rose-Mockry said.
On a "traditional" date, Rose-Mockry said that the male would
not only choose the couple’s destination for a date, but pay the
bill and often feel he were entitled to something afterwards.
Today, with women receiving more opportunities to hold high
positions in the professional world, men may not be the only ones
reaching for the dinner bill.
"I think the responsibility to pay rests on who invited whom. If
I asked him out, I would expect to pay," said Angie Sullivan, a
first-year political science student.
With increased economic equality, the question now turns to who
controls the pace of the date. Sullivan says she has felt pressure
after a dinner or movie date purchased by a male.
"I think guys definitely expect some action if they buy you
dinner," Sullivan said, "but I would never expect anything like
that from a guy that I take out."
This observation seemed untrue to second-year student John
Yoon.
"I disagree. I personally wouldn’t expect anything in return
(for dinner) except a good time," Yoon said.
"A good time can be had without any sexual activity," he
added.
Changing attitudes about dating is also reflected by the control
women take to monitor and ensure their own health and safety during
sexual relationships.
"I think men have been trained to pretend that they naturally
know what they’re doing when it comes to sex and contraception,"
said Michele Liebowitz, a third-year biology student and student
health advocate in Sunset Village. "I am more frequently visited by
women in this capacity."
Student Health Advocates (SHAs) have been trained to deal with
situations where students need sexual advice. Liebowitz said she is
approached by many women concerned about their sexual health. In
fact, more women come to her for contraception purchases than men,
according to Liebowitz.
While media portrayals of teen dating have rarely related to the
actions of real people, many young people still look to the media
for social guidelines.
"People sometimes don’t recognize the impact of the media. Many
images that the media gives men and women are really erroneous,"
Rose-Mockry said. "It is incorrect information about what
relationships are supposed to be about."
Despite media portrayals of dating, many students said that men
and women have always welcomed equality in dating.
"Most of the long term relationships I’ve been in, I’ve
initiated," said Christine Koons, resident director at Courtside in
Sunset Village.
But regardless of whether equality in dating is a new phenomenon
or not, many students are just frustrated. Some claimed that
seemingly minor gestures of affection, such as holding the door or
helping someone out of a car have the potential for making a
political statement.
"It is very confusing because some girls want you to be
traditional and some really don’t," said Rob Rogoyski, a first-year
political science/communications student. "It really feels like
sometimes you just can’t win."