Monday, November 25, 1996
POLITICS:
Public must work collectively to make list of changes come
trueOK kids, Christmas time is coming up and you know what that
means: getting drunk and telling your family what you really think
about them. Just kidding (you see, I could have been a humor
columnist if I wanted to). No, it’s time for everybody to make out
their Christmas wish-lists. That was always my favorite part of
this season, making out a long list of all the crap that I wanted
from Santa Claus. You know, Santa is kind of an interesting
concept. This fat, white, patriarch lives up in the North Pole and
he knows about everything you do. Now, if you’re good and do what
you’re told all year long, he’ll sneak into your house and leave
you a bunch of stuff. Wow, we really start warping kids at a young
age, don’t we?
Anyway, even though I stopped believing in Santa a year or two
ago, I thought it might be fun to come up with my own wish list.
So, here goes, my 1996 Christmas wish list:
1. Reform election policies: OK, now that the elections are
over, let me just say that voting is one of the most pointless
exercises in the world. Bill Clinton and Bob Dole were so alike in
all appreciable ways that finding the lesser of these two evils was
impossible. The election process has become an incredible sham, but
there are a few ways we could make our voices count.
How about giving everyone the option of voting "no" for any
elected office? If none of the candidates get 50 percent of the
popular vote, you hold a runoff election in which none of the old
candidates can run. Federally finance all campaigns. If you’re not
getting money from any corporations or special interests, you’re
not obliged to do what they tell you. Do away with the "two party
system." We are truly living in a one party state that is
masquerading as a two party state. The difference between
Republicans and Democrats is razor thin. Start federally financing
other party’s candidates and watch as the government begins to
start representing the actual make-up of the country. With new,
more powerful alternative parties, people of vastly divergent
ideals are forced to work together and compromise instead of
selling each other out.
2. Institute the corporate death penalty: While we’re on the
subject of the election, during the campaign Ralph Nader came out
in support of the corporate death penalty, a fantastic idea.
Corporations have to be chartered through states in order to exist
(many corporations charter in Delaware, which has some of the most
lax corporate laws). Well, if your corporation is polluting,
cheating its workers or breaking the law, we destroy your charter
and you don’t exist any more. Watch corporate America fall into
line.
3. Reform the public school system: American public schools are
modeled on the 19th century Prussian system, in which children were
taught to obey their leaders, behave in an orderly and easily
controlled manner, and generally think largely the same way about
most issues. When the Prussians designed this system, they had
recently been badly beaten in a war, and came to the conclusion
that if they could instill in the masses a sense of order and
obedience, they would fare better on the battlefield. Rather than
learning to not speak until called on and to line up in
alphabetical order, children should be taught how to explore the
world and learn about, rather than destroy, everything they come in
contact with.
4. Scale back the military: Since the death of Communism,
America has had a hard time finding a role for itself. But now
we’ve got one. We’re quickly on our way to becoming international
mercenaries. Got a despot you need to get rid of? Got some oil that
needs to be secured? Well, we’re your nation. We’ll take care of
your problem and make sure that business runs smoothly. And once
the hostilities are over, we’ll just park a few of our troops in
your country  maybe set up a military base. But don’t worry,
it’s only temporary.
While we’re on the subject, why do we even have a standing army
in the first place? Unlike all of the previous wars, after World
War II the United States, rather than disarming and returning to a
peacetime economy, continued a military build-up that has yet to
let up. Who is it that we need to be protected from? Ourselves? The
government already uses military troops on U.S. soil as part of the
"drug war." How long will it be before troops on the streets of
America become common?
5. Smash the multinational corporations’ hold on the media:
Every time you watch the news or read a newspaper, you’re not
receiving the truth, but rather the most palatable version of a
corporation’s view of the truth. General Electric owns NBC.
Westinghouse owns CBS. That makes two major networks that are
controlled by corporations that are involved in nuclear power
and/or military weapons production. Do you really think that they’d
report objectively on stories that involved their parent companies?
Ninety-five percent of all media ownership can be traced back to
six multinational corporations. Do they have your best interests in
mind? Free the media from the hands of the corporations and watch
what happens when the public finds out what’s really going on.
6. Do away with the nation-state: Look, we’re all big girls and
boys. We don’t need nations, we don’t need states, and we don’t
need governments. Now, many of you will respond:"But who will
maintain law and order, who will keep other people in check, who
will protect us?" Well, could it be that the system of the
nation-state, with it’s legacy of oppression, exploitation and
genocide, might just have something to do with the generation of
these nasty human habits that we all want to be protected from?
Could it be that when we are all informed and free, we can see the
good in taking care of each other and don’t need order and
stability to be enforced at the end of a police baton?
Besides, who benefits from law and order? Who benefits from
borders and people’s identification with their country of origin?
Who benefits from the notion that one group of people, who merely
share geographical proximity in common, are better than another
group who share an equivalent spatial relationship? We must move
beyond the need for laws, borders and masters. Only then will we
begin to experience any real kind of freedom.
7. A pony.
So, there’s my wish list. As with any good wish list from
childhood, it includes many gifts that probably won’t be showing up
under the tree anytime soon. But these are all ideas that are worth
exploring. If you agree, great. If not, why don’t you make out your
own wish list and start seeing how you can work to make it come
true. Nobody’s going to do it for us  we’ve got to do this
work together. Some of these ideas may seem wacky, but maybe what
we need right now is to try to go outside of the systems of thought
that have been taught to us and come up with some new ideas. We
have to start somewhere.
Paul Biery could have been a humor columnist, but nobody thought
he was funny.