Monday, 6/2/97 Male fascination with, attraction to lesbians
misled by cultural myths SOCIETY: ‘Threesome fantasy’ construes
lesbianism as chance for men to prove their heterosexuality,
counter to true lesbian lifestyle
By Sarah Krupp Daily Bruin Contributor The subject of
controversy. The topic of conversation. And the object of a man’s
desire. But why? The opportunity to have two women at once has long
been the oft-unexplored "taboo" of many a man’s lusty dreams. But
in those dreams, many seem to forget that purely lesbian couples
aren’t the places to look for threesome sex. In fact, those pipe
dreams of having two women fawning over the same man might even be
normal – for the man – but that doesn’t usually mean he gets what
he wants. "Lesbians having sex is interesting, but it’s only a
‘turn-on’ if there is an option for self-involvement," said
third-year history student Brent Irek. "If you know that the two
women getting it on are totally butch, it’s just voyeurism. But, if
they are bisexuals there is a chance you could stick yourself in
the middle," Irek said. Heterosexual males are excited by lesbian
sex because they imagine themselves as the subjects, according to
Arthur Little, a professor of English and one of the founding
faculty of the new Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual Studies
program at UCLA. "Women in lesbian sex are penetrating other women.
Instead of taking the submissive role that is traditionally
assigned to women, lesbians are the aggressor," Little said. And
that aggressiveness is part of the attraction, he added. "We all
like our sex to be pushing boundaries. The heterosexual male sees
the lesbian as a ‘bad’ woman, a heterosexual that is crossing over
on the wild side," Little said. However, most bisexual and lesbian
women don’t engage in threesomes, or any-somes, any more than
heterosexuals do. And popular myth holds that these women "just
need a good man" to change their minds. "The lesbian is seen as the
ultimate challenge, and by making a lesbian straight, a male can
prove his heterosexuality," said Sandy Cavazos, the head of the
Lesbian/Gay Alliance at UCLA. She expressed that men had an
increased interest in her after she revealed her sexual preference.
"The idea is that a guy is so macho that he can make a girl that
doesn’t like guys go straight," Cavazos said. The fantasy of being
with two women at once is indicative of patriarchal values which
have socialized men at the top of the power structure, according to
Dawn Bond, the Resident Director of Saxon Suites. "A man that has
two women is viewed as the most powerful," Bond maintained. That
lesbians just need to find the right man is an extremely disturbing
idea to Elizabeth Adams, a UCLA alumna. "There is a belief that if
the lesbian could just be fucked, she would be heterosexual," Adams
said. This kind of attention, however, isn’t welcomed by members of
the lesbian community and may be a feigned illusion of lesbian
acceptance into mainstream society. "The interest in lesbians has
only hurt us," Bond said. "People think that it is proof that we
have attained a level of equality, but it is only a virtual
reality." In everyday life, lesbians are not accepted by straight
men, Bond said. While holding her girlfriend’s hand in public, Bond
said she has been the recipient of unwanted comments from straight
men. "All you need is a man" was a remark she received while
shopping with her girlfriend, she recalled. The implication is that
lesbianism is a choice of lifestyle rather than an inherent
quality, Bond said. "If homosexuality is thought of as an option,
it empowers homophobics," she added. "By making homosexuality a
choice, it affirms homophobia because if you want to, you can
choose not to be oppressed. It gives more reasons to not give us
our equal rights," Bond said. The heterosexual male fascination
with lesbians has nothing to do with the lesbian as a person,
according to Patricia Smith, a professor of lesbian and gay
literature at UCLA. It is an objectification that undermines the
progress of lesbians to be understood as individuals. But not all
heterosexual men find lesbians or lesbian sex titillating. Some
heterosexual men find no real interest in watching lesbians have
sex or partaking in a menage a trois with two other women. "I would
rather see a man and a woman having sex because I could better
relate to the situation. With two women, I’d feel left out," said
Sherif El Dave, a third-year undeclared student. Lesbian
pornography and heterosexual male fascination with lesbianism has
only served to impede lesbians’ progress toward mainstream
acceptance, Bond said. However, the "lesbians" in pornography are
not often truly bi or homosexual. Instead, these women are
heterosexual females posing as lesbians for their male audience.
Aesthetically, lesbians in pornography do not represent the actual
lesbian population, Bond added. "The ‘lesbians’ in pornography are
usually thin, wear makeup and have long hair," she continued. "Most
lesbian women are not preoccupied with fashion, makeup and thinness
because they are not concerned with attracting males," Bond
claimed. But the long nails of the "lesbians" in pornography is the
ultimate proof of their heterosexuality, she added. "Anyone who
thinks lesbians have long, pointed nails doesn’t know anything
about lesbian sex," said Smith. Portrayal of lesbian acts in
pornography often serves to silence the very group it claims to
portray, Adams said, leaving lesbians voiceless in their own
representation. "For the lesbian movement to make real progress
towards acceptance, lesbians must be in control of the portrayal of
their own sexuality," according to Adams. "It is important for
lesbians to learn to exploit the exploitation … to take realities
of lesbian ‘sheik’ and use it as an avenue for opening up the lives
of gay women," Little said. Unfortunately, the results of the
liberties taken with lesbianism are usually worse than if no
liberties were taken at all. "No one really wants to know you. At
46, I am tired of being in everyone’s fantasy. I would like to be
seen as me," Smith said.