Monday, 6/23/97 Making the most out of college experience
OPPORTUNITY: UCLA offers new challenges, obstacles for students
Swimming pools, arcades, movie theaters, gardens, gyms, pool
tables and all the food you can eat. About the only thing I noticed
that was different between the brochures for Club MED and UCLA was
that one of them included a school. It was a hard decision, but I
went for the school. First came orientation, the introductions to
this and that, "This is bla bla bla, that is yadda yadda yadda."
Next, you get to hike through the deserted campus for what feels
like 40 days and 40 nights learning the mystical powers of the
fifth step of Janss Steps (or was someone buried there?). Your
schedule looks really good. No school Tuesday and every other day
is over at 1 p.m. "High school was stupid, but this is gonna be a
joke," you think. Well that’s when the real jokes begin. First day
of class rolls by and you already feel like you’re lost in
Disneyland except, instead of looking for your favorite ride you’re
looking for your lecture on "The History of Rock ‘n’ Roll and its
Relation to Male Egoism in the ’90s.’ You find your class and take
a seat wondering if you’re in the wrong place. The room number is
right, but the place looks like the Imax Theater. Either way you
can bet "the audience is listening." Wow! So your first week is
over and you’re still kickin’ it; no midterms for a couple of
weeks, new people left and right and a whole lot of hormones in the
air. Your first frat party is an experience in itself – good thing
you read your Shakespeare for English class, because after drinking
your body weight in fermentation products, you are now wondering to
yourself, "to pee or not to pee, that is the question!" Three weeks
go by like three days, and the person you hooked up with at the
party doesn’t give you those looks anymore. You promise yourself
that next time, before you even think of playing anatomy, you’ll
take that someone into the light for a full inspection. (Don’t let
the strobe light fool you). Before you know it, midterms are here.
Your professors throw you and everyone else in the class into the
pit of midterm hell, as if they were on some high council in
ancient Rome. They force you to try to tame your lecture material
and slash away at the pages of the book. (Don’t look now, they’ve
thrown another test into the pit!) You escape with minor injuries
and a full case of exhaustion. The council knows not to kill you
now, for there would be no entertainment for finals, when an orgy
of tests are brought upon you. Some students do battle nonstop
without sleep, some perish and some triumph. But hey, that’s weeks
away, so you rest for now. With your rest (more like a
half-comatose state) you now have a new understanding and a closer
relationship with vegetables (an admiration really). As you
daydream your hours away in the library, you think back to the time
you had in high school roaming the campus as a senior. You used to
be the pimp. Now, as the professors shaft you and your schedule,
you’ve gone from pimp to gimp. There isn’t any homework unless you
have a lab, and in most of the other classes all you have are
midterms and finals and it’s all over. (What ever happened to extra
credit?) Weekends are still a nice chance to catch up on the sleep
you’ve been missing. Night presents the dilemma of what to do. What
shall it be? A trip down fraternity row for someone to remind you
that the world (and especially this house) has no shortage of eager
beavers? Or maybe a trip down the Sunset Strip so you can finally
show off your new fake ID. Only you get so drunk you pass out in
the bathroom and wake up the next day just in time to write your
10-page paper, with a minimum of 10 references, on the effects of
nicotine on oversexed monkeys who are bred in captivity. All you
can think of is "huh huh huh cool, monkeys, huh huh huh cornholio!"
You finish with just enough time to run to class, only to learn
that for some strange reason the instructor has decided to extend
the due date by a week because he’s going to be out of town. That’s
nice. Maybe next week when the instructor gets back we can announce
that we too are taking the week off to go to a conference in
Tijuana, and that the instructor can give us the midterm when we
get back. The Fall and Winter Quarters pass as if they lasted two
weeks, but you now have a new appreciation for the word "fast."
Thus far, not only have you become smarter, you have become
stronger. Whether you get those strong legs from hiking up and down
Bruin Mountain or practicing your stop-and-go skills on the 405
Freeway, feel good – you’ve accomplished something. You also have a
better understanding of when your peak learning hours and sleeping
hours are. Some sleep during the day and read lecture notes by
night, while some weird people go to class in the morning and sleep
at night. As far as picking up new skills that are valuable in the
real world, you’ve got plenty: Especially those you’ll need dodging
solicitors who live on Bruin Walk. After a few times on Bruin Walk
you’ll be ready to say, "No thank you, I really don’t want the
flyer on how to devote myself to worshiping evil smurfs. No, I’m
already late, I really have to go. No, I don’t want to dodge you
like an ugly oncoming USC linebacker. OK OK! Yeah sure buddy, long
live Gargamell, whatever you say (where’s the trash)." In all
seriousness, the intensity of learning things related to books and
things related to life is all around us. Never before have we been
faced with so many opportunities to expand our knowledge, meet new
people and understand a new way of life, a life with
responsibilities, deadlines and rewards. Nothing is easy, but for
some strange reason, if it were easy you wouldn’t want it. Your
values now demand substance and your mind demands stimulus.
Somehow, somewhere, you made a transition. Hopefully, when you go
home, you get to sit with the rest of the adults and eat grown-up
food (or at least get to argue with a few of them). The people you
meet can disappear forever or can become your best friend. The
knowledge that you obtain from attending a university is an
all-around education. Some things are in the books and some things
are not, but one thing is for sure and that is this: There is
opportunity. Life begins here, decisions are made that will have a
real impact on your life, people will go their separate ways, some
will go far, some will falter but still recover, and still some
will back down from the mere specter of the long endless highway of
knowledge. It is that long endless highway that gives us promise.
Don’t be challenged by the fact that it never ends, but rather be
inspired by the fact that you can go as far as you want to go;
there are no limits. Welcome to the next level. Alon Frydman
Previous Bruin Stories SEX: Rules to live by for successful macking
and one-night stands, November 27, 1996 Work all day, up all night,
November 1, 1995