Friday, September 26, 1997
Let Bruin pride shine through in support of UCLA athletics
SHAPIRO: Camp out for games, have a few beers and never leave
early
It’s been a long summer, hasn’t it?
Bereft of collegiate athletics, all we had to sustain us was
tedious baseball games, absurd boxing matches and preseason
football.
All that has changed, friends. The time to immerse ourselves in
the offerings of the No. 1 athletic school in the country is at
hand.
As we embark on another nine months of unending bliss, here is a
handy little guide on how to get the most out of your relationship
with UCLA athletics, complete with required implements and
necessary companionship.
1. Camping out.
If there is any one act that will truly affirm your love for
UCLA sports, it is camping out the night before a basketball game
to get the prized floor seats. To truly do this right, the sole
requirements are a sleeping bag, a night free of studying and some
buddies just as dedicated (read: strange).
Once assembled, you and your motley band need only to carry your
sleeping bags, pillows and the number for Shakey’s Pizza down to
Pauley the day before a game. Not only will you be rewarded with
the best seats in the house for a hoops game, but you get to
experience the Dante-esque life that is Marilyn Manson.
When else will you get to sleep on concrete under halogen lights
that perpetually burn down as if you were in some torture chamber,
only to be awakened from a fitful doze by other campers nearby
waging World War III (also known as NHL ’95 for you Swingers fans)
on their Sega?
When else will you be rousted from Shakey’s Pizza-induced
nightmares by a grouchy representative of the Rally Committee – at
one of those unholy hours when Los Angeles is actually cold – to
stand in another line, where the end result is you producing your
ID and reg card only to be handed a slip of paper that you had
better not lose?
Finally, when else will you be able to limp home with "bed
head," mossy teeth and a bladder set to explode, only to return to
the scene to sweat, lose your voice and feel that unencumbered
exhilaration that comes from watching our basketball team win a
game?
The answer is: There is no other time (unless you are really
into Marilyn Manson) than December through March.
2. Tennis matches against Stanford.
Attendance is mandatory at some point during your stay because:
a) it’s fun, b) the UCLA teams are generally very good and c)
student attendance at the Los Angeles Tennis Center (LATC) is
pathetic.
There is an added bonus to this equation: The key to this
endeavor is – for the Stanford match only – you must be drunk.
Now, I don’t mean that happy little four-beer,
meet-a-girl-or-boy-at-a-frat-party buzz; I mean that level of
intoxication where you don’t remember or care what you say.
Mean-spirited? Perhaps, but believe me, the Stanford fans are
worse.
The essentials here are spartan: some friends, plenty of beer
(to be consumed off campus, of course) and some sun-drenched seats
at the LATC.
I have only been able to join in this merry event once, because
I have spent the past two years covering the men’s team. It’s hard
to get quotes when your pen is upside down, your recorder is in
your pocket and you see three coaches, all saying different
things.
The beauty of this experience is that you get to watch
high-quality tennis, get a tan and hone your ribald wit. If during
the course of the match you get kicked out, don’t be disheartened,
because it’s all about effort.
3. USC football games.
Here is the only "don’t" that has made it onto this list, and
with it comes the basic assumption that most students will attend
this annual bashing of our decidedly inferior rivals:
DON’T LEAVE EARLY!
For those of you who don’t remember or were sweating out your
senior year of high school, last year’s game witnessed a UCLA
comeback of epic proportions. As the Bruins were clawing toward
their sixth straight city championship, someone – and I’m not going
to mention names (ME!) – had gathered up his group of similarly
weak-willed friends and left early to beat the traffic.
For god’s sake, learn from my mistake and stay until the end!
It’s really depressing when you are the deserving wrong end of a
joke.
4. Singing at soccer games.
There are two versions to this: The first is for the American
soccer fan, and the second is for the European soccer fan. Both
require only the ubiquitous group of friends and a free Friday
night.
The American soccer-fan edition simply necessitates that you and
your hearty band head over to Spaulding Field to watch our soccer
teams play on a Friday evening. Once entrenched in the stands,
bundled up against that 70-degree chill, you need only to pick the
appropriate time.
Having selected your moment, perhaps after a UCLA goal, you
shall burst out in a lusty chorus of "Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole,
U-C-L-A!"
Not only does it sound really cool when done correctly, but it
adds a certain World Cup flavor to the matches.
The European soccer-fan version includes all of the above,
except the participants must be blind drunk and start a riot after
the match. This event has yet to take place at UCLA, and I don’t
recommend trying it because the university police are armed.
5. Celebrate in Westwood.
Those of you remaining from that wild April evening in 1995 know
what I am referring to.
The most important requirement for one of the greatest nights of
your life is that the basketball team win the national
championship.
Now, you may be thinking this one is totally out of your hands,
but if you have spent a season camping out, painting yourself and
going crazy at the games, you really have played a role in the
ultimate conquest. That is what makes a championship evening so
incredibly perfect.
When you are sitting on your friend’s shoulders, leading the
massed throngs by the Fox Theater in the greatest eight-clap you’ve
ever heard, you will know what I am talking about.
So there it is: not a complete list by any means, but one that
will hopefully serve as a useful guide. As we set about rallying
our teams on to victory, let me say, in the immortal words of UCLA
students gone before … GO BRUINS!
Shapiro is a fourth-year student and Daily Bruin sports writer.
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responses via e-mail to [email protected].
Mark Shapiro