Monday, October 20, 1997
When water puppets take over the world
PUPPETS Protestors of recent Vietnamese show may have had right
idea
I swear to God, I’ve learned more about myself through writing
these articles for the Bruin every two weeks than I could ever have
imagined. It seems that as soon as I have Topic X all figured out,
I realize I don’t. Today is no exception. My head has been abuzz
with our most recent controversial campus event of the week. As
usual, I was pissed about it and couldn’t wait to let go at the
provoking party with both barrels. But now I can’t figure out which
of the parties is which. Consequently, I am now pissed at every
one.
It’s all about those water puppets. Upon hearing that a bunch of
adults had protested at a puppet show for kids, I was miffed. I
wondered what could possibly be so bad about a puppet show. Were
they especially evil puppets? Were the puppets engaging in behavior
deemed inappropriate by puppet community standards? Were these
smutty puppets, or sluttish puppets, or druggie puppets? No, they
were not. By all accounts they were lovely, sweet, charming,
enchanting puppets.
However, besides an audience comprised primarily of children and
their parents, Thang Long, Vietnam’s premier water puppetry troupe
was greeted by 200 picketing Vietnamese-American protesters at
UCLA’s Center for the Performing Arts two weekends ago. According
to an article appearing in your Daily Bruin ("Vietnamese groups
protest puppet show, Oct. 13) the protesters didn’t like the fact
that "the show perpetuates an untrue image of what Vietnam is like
today." Apparently the puppet show didn’t have enough of that
war-ravaged, human-rights violating, atrocity committing, heartless
communist dictatorship vibe going for it.
We’ve all heard of groups that protested against movies and TV
shows because of content that was too graphic; but, I had never,
until now, heard anyone complain about content that was too serene.
I am left to assume that the anti-puppet show protesters wouldn’t
have any problem with a puppet show that depicted "true" images of
what Vietnam is like today. What would such a puppet show depict?
If we use Tram Linh Ho’s description of today’s Vietnam (Vietnam
needs a change, Daily Bruin, Oct. 16) as the model for a puppet
show we might expect to see puppet political and religious leaders
suffering in jail, puppet dissidents being executed for their
beliefs, destitute puppet farmers, and puppet daughters forced into
prostitution. Oh, how the kiddies in the audience would love to see
that.
Let me tell you something: if an accurate representation of the
contemporary milieu of any given country or culture is the
criterion by which we judge the worthiness or validity of its
various forms of artistic expression, then we’re all in a big
stinking heaping pile of trouble.
If we’re going to censor shows that depict "untrue images" of
life in America, let’s start by dismantling (literally, I fear) the
Muppets. Has it ever bothered anyone that the female lead is a pig?
And what about "Friends?" One third of all Americans are
overweight, but I don’t recall seeing any fat people on that show.
Sorry. Cancel it. And what about "Baywatch?" Thirty percent of our
population is forty-five or older. How many old folks do you see on
that show?
By the protester’s standards of what should and should not be
performed, even a period piece as innocuous as "Room with a View"
would have to go because it doesn’t show England’s true side,
especially when we consider their military occupation of Northern
Ireland.
What about Disneyland? Does the "Happiest Place on Earth"
reflect the true characteristics of American society? Hardly, but
maybe they could clean up their act. If Disneyland had Whites Only
Land, or Screw the Indians Land, or Ambulance Chasing Shyster Land,
or Back Alley Abortion Land, or Illegal Campaign Donation Land, or
if they merged the shooting gallery in Frontier Land with the
Autopia in Tomorrow Land and renamed it Drive-by Shooting Land,
then we’d have something that showed a truer image of what America
is like today.
According to George Sweeney’s considerate article on the puppet
show controversy, Duc Do, chair of the protesters’ coordination
committee, had a host of other complaints about Thang Long. For
starters, Do called the puppet show a "communist plot." Naturally.
And what a diabolically insidious plot it is. Our government
attacks them with Agent Orange, napalm and Bob Hope and their
government parries with puppets? God forbid they get desperate and
send in the marionettes.
No doubt, the head of Vietnam’s Directorate of Puppet Propaganda
is behind it all. Rumor has it that CIA operatives at an electronic
eavesdropping post in Diego Garcia intercepted the following radio
communique emanating from Hanoi: "Send in the puppets." U.S.
intelligence experts thumbed madly through their secret code word
books in search of some clue to its meaning. By the time they
figured it out it was already too late.
Also, in support of Do’s allegations we should consider the
identities of some of the puppets. We have Lac Long Quan, a dragon,
and Au Co, a fairy. According to ancient legend, these two are
responsible for the birth of the Vietnamese people. Maybe they’re
really an allusion to Marx and Engels! There’s also a magical
turtle who gives a Vietnamese king a magical sword which he uses to
cast the Chinese out of Vietnam. Compare that subtle detail with
Marx’ infamous quote: "Magic turtles are the opiate of the people."
I apologize (not really) for my sarcasm, but I want to illustrate
that the subject matter of these performances is about as dangerous
as your average nursery rhyme.
In my heart of hearts, I sympathize with the protesters in that
I believe the U.S. should do what it can to influence political
reform in Vietnam. But there’s something to be said for the
benefits of cultural exchange. I’m pretty sure we don’t assume that
just because a country puts on a good puppet show that it is
therefore a happy place to live. I give the audience a bit more
credit for having the ability to make a distinction between art and
reality.
On the other hand, the more I think about it the more I realize
that there might be some weight behind the notion of bad puppets
coming to America. Think of the wholesale depravity these vile
little monsters have already perpetrated throughout history. Why do
you think we have such enmity for "puppet" dictators and "puppet"
regimes?
You might be asking: "What’s wrong with a harmless puppet or two
doing a little show up at the Sunset Center?" I’ll tell you what.
First it’s the Sunset Center, then it’s Lollapalooza. Give’em a
puppet inch and they’ll take a puppet mile. It’s all in the way
they flail about those little puppet arms of theirs. It’s some kind
of subliminal psycho-semaphore designed to pollute the minds of our
youths.
Also, ever notice how whenever you see puppets they’re always
putting on a show? Ever notice how their facial expression never
changes? You never know what they’re really thinking. Well, look
out you evil bastard puppets; we’re on to you! We must stop those
evil puppets. We must stop them now, before they undo the very
fabric of our hard won democracy thread by thread with their tiny
little puppet hands. Stop the puppets. Kill the puppets. Tear them
limb from raggedy limb. And remember: The only good puppet is a
dead puppet.
Michael Daugherty
Daugherty is a fourth-year English student