Thursday, October 30, 1997
From midterms to
UCLA: Grievances, random thoughts from one outspoken student
By A.J. Harwin
One of the worst things about UCLA is the parking … If you
don’t have a parking permit already, good luck getting one … If
you didn’t get one, it’s $5 a day to park … and then you have to
waste time actually finding a parking spot … or you can squeeze
your car into a spot on Gayley if you’re lucky, but you’ll waste
two hours finding a space …
And you just know someone is going to ding your car …
You can chance it by parking in a red zone, on a street with a
designated two-hour parking limit. Keep in mind there’s no parking
allowed on Thursdays or Fridays from 8-10 a.m. … so you’ll risk
getting a $35 ticket …
Who the hell is only here for two hours? Why not just designate
it for two hours, 37 minutes and eight seconds?
You can park at a meter on campus for two hours max – assuming
you have enough quarters. Each quarter will last you only
seven-and-a-half minutes – and those in charge of parking know you
don’t have those quarters readily available, so pay the five bucks.
You can’t win here …
And if you do pay the five bucks, I think it’s fair to employ
someone to valet every single car that comes in on campus … For
five bucks, someone ought to take my car, find a spot himself, and
bring it back when I’m done at the end of the day …
UCLA must have more – I was going to say meter maids, but
Parking Enforcement officials is probably now the politically
correct term – per capita than anywhere else on the planet …
Attention: Registration fee payments will decrease next year by
5 percent … Don’t be surprised if parking, books and on-campus
housing fees are raised to compensate …
And as the Gas Co. sputters out of Westwood on its last fumes,
I’d like to say a farewell to them – B. Dalton, the Pizza Cottage
and Merry-Go Round Electronics …
A new Vietnamese restaurant, Saigon Street, has sprung up in the
old Pizza Cottage shack … and every time I’ve passed by, it’s
been really busy …
I’d like to thank the American Indian Student Association and
Movimiento Estudiantil Chicana y Chicano de Aztlan for raising my
awareness on how Christopher Columbus’ discovery of the New World
was, in reality, not so great … To be perfectly honest, the role
Columbus played in the demise of Native Americans never occurred to
me …
However, if you take a quick glance at the racial make-up of
UCLA, most of its students are recent immigrants of the last 100
years … My family has been here for only three generations.
It’s unfortunate that it came at the expense of Native American
culture … Personally, had my family not come to America from
Russia before World War II, my family lineage would have ended at
the hands of the Nazis …
UCLA spends so much money on wasted construction … You’d think
they would put some money into something simple like lighting by
the "Rape Trail" near Saxon Suites. For those of you who don’t know
what it is, the "Rape Trail" is a shortcut to get to the
apartments. Regardless of obstructions, students are going to use
it … Things don’t get names like "Rape Trail" for nothing …
And while we’re at it, how about installing air conditioning in
Haines 39? Administration might note that the intense heat in the
Haines building is not conducive to the learning potential of
students. It’s like a sauna in there …
Since I’m at the middle of this column, I’d like to tell you
personally that midterms suck …
This year’s best new TV show is Fox’s "Ally McBeal" … It’s
sort of like a cross between "L.A. Law" and the "Wonder Years" …
Even though it’s from a woman’s point of view, I can easily relate
to her insecurities about love and dating …
Although it’s definitely a very cute show, an hour is too long
… Whether it’s "ER," "Melrose Place" or "NYPD Blue," a show
really needs more than one main character to keep it alive for an
hour …
I feel like a criminal for staring at Fiona Apple, Let’s face
it, she looks like she’s 11 or 12 …
She made this big deal on MTV about how it doesn’t matter what
someone looks like; looks are not what makes them special … This
is the same person that was practically naked in her videos, and on
the VH1 Fashion Awards this week … I’d like to see her pull off
the same positive reception if she was built more like Carnie
Wilson from the defunct Wilson Phillips …
In a parody of Wilson Phillips on Saturday Night Live a few
years back, Chris Farley played Carnie Wilson …
I think I’m the only one happy about the new and free Bruin Card
… mainly because my wallet was stolen last summer, and I don’t
need to spend another $15 on a new ID card …
Matchbox 20 … "I want to push you down, I want to take you for
granted." Somehow I don’t think those are the best pick-up lines
these days …
And I’m not surprised USAC’s stand against Nike resulted in a
full-page ad in the Daily Bruin denouncing Nike’s right to invade
UCLA land. Further infractions will result in the dissing and
name-calling of all students wearing Nike products by USAC members
… probably followed by a demonstration march through Westwood
where all students can participate – sponsored by Reebok. And if
USAC can think of any things of importance to do against Nike, I’m
sure they’ll Just Do It …
And finally, I just felt it appropriate to quote the great
philosopher king Zack Morris from "Saved by the Bell" – "I love
school … It’s too bad the classes get in the way."