Thursday, January 15, 1998
War between men, women can end here
FEMINISM: In a rapidly changing world, it’s time to leave
society’s support of ‘male-bashing’ attitudes behind us
By Arthur Jerijian
These are interesting times that we are living in. Before your
very eyes, history is changing itself. What used to work in the
past is no longer working in the present. All aspects of life,
including relationships, family, careers, health and spirituality,
are undergoing massive transformations. Many of these changes are
for the better. The new society that will result will be much
improved. People on earth will be happier, healthier and more
loving human beings.
One of the most important changes that we are going through in
our society is the emancipation and rise in the importance of
women.
Throughout history, women have been treated as second-class
citizens, denied the full range of life’s opportunities. In the
past, women were not able to hold positions of power, work in
established careers, vote in public office, receive equal pay,
equal recognition and otherwise live completely free lives. In the
late 20th century, many of these imbalances have been corrected,
with more changes to come. Equal suffrage allows women to vote. The
feminist movement has been making headway in the equal treatment of
women in the workplace and universities. Women are now able to hold
positions of power in corporations and political offices. The state
of California has two female senators. Many corporations across the
country have female CEOs and executives who are doing an excellent
job managing their companies. Women are making inroads even within
the family structure; they are becoming less subject to their
husbands’ and fathers’ influences, and more equal to men in
importance of family roles. The treatment of girls is a major
concern in classrooms, and steps are being taken to restructure our
schools to better accommodate them.
The list can go on forever. At the same time, more men than ever
are now embracing the changing roles of the sexes in our society.
Much resistance has met (and to some extent, continues to meet) the
liberation of women, but at the same time, many people – women and
men – are accepting this trend with open arms. Many men are putting
old habits aside to make room for the rise of women in society. Men
are joining forces with women for the equality of human beings.
Also, men are keeping more in touch with their feminine sides,
allowing themselves to express more emotion, vulnerability,
creativity and intuition than in the past. Men are becoming more
sensitive to the needs of wives and children, with more concern for
being better husbands and fathers.
However, a side effect has been introduced in the changing of
the sex roles. The patriarchies which dominated the old society
have been challenged. While old prejudices have come down, new ones
have popped up.
This is very true in the realm of the two sexes. The amount of
insults, name-calling and organized hatred has increased between
men and women. This is seen in today’s universities, newspapers,
literature and television programs. A large section of these
attacks have been geared specifically toward men.
You have probably heard this line a thousand times before: "Men
are jerks." The problem is that much of society agrees with this
sentiment. Almost every major newspaper and newsmagazine will print
out an article about the inferiority of men in today’s society.
Biologists and sociologists publish research papers detailing
the "reasons" why men will never be as physically, emotionally and
socially viable as women. The evidence that they present includes
information like missing genes in the Y chromosome, the behavior of
males in the animal kingdom, the way that men have been oppressing
women throughout history and the male-to-female ratios of
criminals, etc. Students and professors publish endless stories
filled with hatred toward men in campus newspapers and journals.
Even spiritual authors and teachers are pointing out evidence of
men being "less spiritual." Talk of the mother-child bond, the
return of the Goddess and the infusion of female energies into our
planet all sound nice on the surface, but there is the hidden
implication that men are excluded from the whole process. One book
that I’ve read even goes so far as to explicitly explain the
spiritual inferiority of men.
Bookshelves are piled with titles that are appealing to women,
but not enough books about men have been written to allow people to
get a better feel for masculine nature. With many more women
keeping in touch with their spiritual natures during the loosening
importance of the patriarchal churches, it’s a shame that not
enough has been done to allow men to experience the power of
spirit.
What do you do? You have come to this document because you feel
like you’ve been getting a bad rap because you are a man, or if
you’re a woman, because you are tired of the bad rap that the men
you love have been getting.
I believe that all human beings are more than what they appear
on the surface. I also believe that men and women can peacefully
work together to make our society and world a much better place,
filled with love and enthusiasm that can be shared by all people,
regardless of their sex. Men and women can fully participate in the
spiritual process, creating enlightened communities while
protecting the environment of our beautiful planet. No one sex is
more or less capable of bringing about world peace. No one sex is
more or less superior or inferior to the other in their capacity to
be equal physically, emotionally, spiritually or mentally. I
believe that any imbalance that has been created in male and female
selves can be corrected in all areas of life. I even go so far as
to say that our bodies and minds will be improved once this balance
is restored.
So what steps can you take to counter the male-bashing
blues?
First, think of all the good in men. If you’re a man, look at
all the wonderful gifts you and perhaps your male colleagues have
brought to this planet while you have been alive up to this day. If
you’re a woman, look at all the good that the men you love have
brought to you and to the world around you. Consider all the
wonderful things you’ve experienced thanks to the help of generous,
honest, compassionate and hard-working men.
Think of all the good men that have helped steer our planet
toward peace and love. Think of Jesus of Nazareth. Think of Guatama
Buddha. Think of Krishna. Think of Mahatma Ghandi. Think of Martin
Luther King Jr. Think of all the other male teachers that I left
out from this list. All of these men were such wonderful souls and
have done a great deal to make earth a better place.
Think about these things when you come across a newspaper
article targeting men or when someone tells you something that
suggests a weakness in men. When someone tells you that a
particular masculine attribute is somehow bad or wrong, think
otherwise and come up with a counter example.
I also suggest that you see more in people, situations and
institutions than what they present to you. For example, the
feminist movement has been created to correct the imbalance brought
about by the old patriarchies, an idea which you perhaps might
agree with as well. Many women who are angry at men, or men who are
angry at other men, feel that way because of a personal situation
that happened to them. Maybe they were or currently are involved in
a bad relationship, in financial difficulty, in a survival of abuse
or in a situation where they have been hurt by men in the past.
Consider these things before you take negative comments
personally.
This sounds difficult, and I know it has been for me, but it
helps immensely to bless your perceived attacker. You don’t know
their whole story, and they might be taking their anger at men out
on you. Bless them.
Pray for them that they may be healed from their hurt, for they
too, are children of God (however you see Him, Her or It) just like
you are. In doing this, you will show your fair share of love to
the world, you will have done your spiritual homework and you will
have contributed to the healing of an individual who might have
otherwise continued to bring harm.
Do your part to spread positive publicity about men. Tell others
of all the wonderful gifts that men have brought to you and your
world.
If you see an article demeaning to men, write a positive and
well-thought-out response to the newspaper or journal. You have
nothing to lose, and chances are, your letter will be published,
allowing others to look at a different perspective of the
situation.
Even if you didn’t read a negative comment about men, go ahead
and write something positive to your favorite newspaper. Let people
get a good first impression of your issue from a perspective of
love rather than fear.
Be a living example. If you’re a man, be the best man you can
possibly be. If you’re a woman, be the best woman you can possibly
be. Spread your God-given gifts of love, compassion and service to
the world. Treat others like your brothers and sisters, for that is
who they are. Do the best that you can to cut through insecurities
and dishonesties and see other men and women for who they really
are: expressions of love on a human journey.
Above all, love yourself! You are such a wonderful human being,
perfect as you are and not lacking in anything. God loves you just
as much as He/She/It loves everyone and everything else. You are no
more or no less a child of God than the person next to you. Know
that you are loved beyond what you can understand. Think about all
the good that you are, whether you’re a man or a woman. Write daily
affirmations to yourself, telling yourself of all the good within
you. I hope this helps.