Friday, February 13, 1998
Cinderella
SINGLE: Don’t give into brainwashing ways of Valentine’s Day;
there are 364 other days to find someone
By Dafna Ronen
All right fellow Bruins, listen up. During the past two weeks, I
have restrained myself as A.J. Harwin, Alon Frydman and Justin
Horey have all had their say about the glorious subject of love and
the so-called "game." While I commend their journalism and humorous
wit, I defiantly shout, "It’s time to hear a woman’s point of view
on this heart-wrenching subject!" And this woman’s got an attitude
when it comes to the subject of the "game." A big one.
OK, OK. I know what you’re thinking. "Oh this is another poor,
unfortunate soul who just got dumped and needs to vent in honor of
Valentine’s Day." But that is just not the case. I am writing this
not only in honor of all the females who have ever had to play this
treacherous "game" society seems to accept, but also for all the
men out there who believe they must continue it.
So what do I really mean by all this ranting and raving? I pose
this question to you, fellow Bruins. So what does love have to do
with it? What does love really mean to you? There is not one
definitive answer to this question. For everyone, in every city, of
every country, will give you a different interpretation based on
their life experiences. So I will give you mine.
The Cinderella Syndrome. From the time girls can barely read,
their minds are ingrained with this tale of the prince who rescues
the fair maiden and wisks her away to never-never-land where
awesome bliss prevails and they live "happily ever after." But the
story failed to include the countless heartaches good girls such as
Cinderella encounter on the road to finding Prince Charming. The
numerous dates that never worked out, the guys who walked, because
Cinderella wouldn’t put out, and better still, the men who had the
audacity not even to show up to take the fair maiden out.
I think Tom Petty said it best in his song "Free Falling" when
he stated, "all the bad boys are standing in the shadows, and the
good girls are home with broken hearts." For every guy out there
who is too shy to ask the girl of his dreams out, there sits a
"good girl" at home alone on a Saturday night, wishing she had the
nerve to ask the man of her dreams out. The girl is alone not
because she’s ugly. Not because she’s dumb. Not because she has an
unenticing personality. Just because that’s reality. Whether her
fear stems from being hurt too many times, being afraid of
rejection, or studying till 3 in the morning, leaving little time
to build a relationship, that is where she is.
Which brings me to my next point, where love fits in with this
Cinderella Syndrome. Women are trained to associate a relationship
with love. Now I’m not going to delve into a philosophical debate
on what love really means. But think about it this way: We all have
commitments. School. Work. Family. Friends. And in the midst of our
80-hour overloaded schedules, we’re supposed to find time to stop
and smell the roses long enough to find our soul mates? I don’t
know about you, but I can barely find time to sleep and eat, let
alone find the man of my dreams. So what do we do? Some find solace
in getting drunk on the weekend to wash away inhibitions and hit on
that fine person you’ve been eyeing all quarter. Or maybe it’s not
the person of your dreams, but hey, for one night he might as well
be, right? This is where I have a problem.
Being a female brainwashed by the Cinderella Syndrome, I find it
extremely difficult, if not impossible, to succumb to this
ludicrous way of thinking. Sex without love is like eating your
favorite food without tasting it. So what’s the point? I know, I
know, all you testosterone-driven males (and some females) out
there are thinking, well it feels good, that’s the point. But
you’re forgetting the Cinderella Syndrome here fellas. There is no
room in this ideology for acts of love that do not have sentimental
meaning.
As a side note, on the subject of building new relationships: I
might add that UCLA, let alone the greater Los Angeles area, is a
difficult place to make new friends. On a campus of 35,000 people
one would think it is quite easy to "break the ice." If I attempt
to speak to a stranger on campus, let alone smile at someone I
don’t know, I get this reaction that proclaims: Who the hell are
you and Why are you talking to me? But that’s the reality of
big-city thinking for you. Go figure. But back to the issue at hand
…
So Valentine’s Day, Schmalintine’s day. Harwin said since it’s
coming up, you should ask someone out. I say forget this rigmarole.
If you have someone to hold on this holiday, that’s great. If you
want to ask the person of your dreams out for this day, do it. But
if you fail to hold Prince Charming in your arms, let alone a warm
body, on this insatiable holiday, do not despair. It is only one
day out of 365, so why sweat a measly 24 hours when there are 364
days in the year to find Mr. or Ms. Wonderful? It’s hard enough to
get through the rest of the year without having to conform to a
holiday which makes some people talk like babies, and others wish
they’d never been born. (I might add that most people don’t even
know the original meaning behind "All Saint’s Day.")
So what do I have in store for this Valentine’s Day? Sure I’d
like to be with my crush of this quarter. But afraid of rejection
and not wanting to be misinterpreted as a stalker (Frydman that’s
in honor of you) I refrain from putting my heart on the line,
because it’s been broken so many times before. However, I am proud
to say that I will be spending Valentine’s Day with a bunch of
friends, including a friend and her boyfriend, both whom refuse to
allow a national holiday regulate their love for each other. For
they realize that to have someone to hold is nice, but reality is
not always that kind. So if you don’t have the object of your
desire at your disposal this Saturday, grab a friend, put on a
smile, and enjoy being single. Yeah, single! After all, think of
all you won’t have to put up with this weekend. (A stomachache from
too much chocolate … conversations filled with "sweetie pie and
goo face" … and flowers that will wilt in two days from the
effects of El Nino!)