Wednesday, February 25, 1998
Acting on lustful impulses has its consequences
LOVE: Emotions can rule our decisions, resulting in some messy
situations
Under the strobe lights and the rhythm of the sultry sounds, two
bodies meet. Under the guise of love and the foolishness of trust,
two bodies meet. With time and patience, two bodies, once under
lights and sound, are now under sheets and sweat. With words and
trust two bodies who love now lust. With perception changing,
ignorance breeds deception, as the act breeds itself. From meet to
heat, from heat to meat, all for the moment, stopping for nothing.
To feel you with no barriers, bare, just you, no play-sex, no
latex; just sex. The moment comes and goes as do they. The feeling,
the closeness, everything put aside, nothing could wait. The
blindness causes a sleep that puts the sheet over our eyes, not our
bodies. One day we wake and realize that maybe it wasnt worth it,
maybe we should have been protected.
What do we realize when its too late? Do we realize that it was
just an attraction that happened to put us in the moment, do we
realize that it was supposed to be the first time and that they
promised, do we realize that it was just a one-night stand, or do
we realize that we had a choice? Who do you trust with your life?
Who values your life more than you? No one. Not your lover, not
your girlfriend, not your best friend. If they tell you that they
truly do value your life, then they are lying. Only you know the
true value of your life.
So many people think they are invincible, so many seem to want
to do it the right way just once. The sad fact is that many people
have done it so many people that it really is sad.
If you know a couple of people, ask them, and if they are
willing to tell you, chances are that its happened. Some get tested
and are relieved to find out theyre OK, some make excuses, some
still think theres no way anything could have happened. But those
numbers are surprisingly high. You would think that with all the
advertisements and all the hoopla, guys could think just a little
bit beforehand and put on a condom. It really is unfortunate. What
if you just werent thinking and happened to get caught up in the
heat of the moment? Come on, nothings gonna happen; we trust each
other; were normal people. Come on, havent you ever gotten caught
up in the moment just once? Everybody does. Thats the problem: Too
many people trust each other; too many of us are willing to put our
lives in the hands of some imaginary pyramid of trust, all to
experience it the natural way just once without having to feel like
were on some experiment.
Its not natural I dont think sex should be that way, some say.
Really? Well youre not Adam and shes not Eve trust me, she may have
given him the apple that caused him to cover himself, but what
youre gonna get these days is a lot more bitter. Like Adam, your
ass will have already been exposed.
We can crack a few jokes, laugh at the situation and take it
lightly for the moment. True, theres no reason to get heavy unless
were eatin, and right now youre reading. But everyone has a feast
now and then, whether its fast food, the usual place or even fine
dining; try and make it a habit to bring your utensils. Otherwise
things can get real messy, and you dont want any permanent
stains.
What does it take to make the threat of AIDS real? What does it
take to get you to realize that this is not bullshit? How many
people have to throw away their lives because they want to enjoy
sex more? Its just plain stupid. People die from HIV, and the other
diseases dont make your smile any brighter nor does a natural
garden of mushrooms on your body. If you havent done it yourself,
then ask yourself if you or any of your friends could get into this
situation. Ask yourself if it truly is possible. Does it have
something to do with will, something to do with understanding cause
and effect, or does it have to do with common sense?
Ask yourself some more questions, like how much do you like to
share your time with people you love? When we are with friends we
all talk and laugh, we do the things that come to mind and talk
about things that move the heart.
Days, months or years later we sit by a friend. The smile now
has turned to nothing, the laughter has turned to stillness, the
life has turned to death. The memories haunt while the present
seems intangible. We watch until the final day, and even on that
day, one moment we look at each other and exchange words; the next,
he looks at you in an exchange of silence. Hours can pass, looking
on and wondering, trying to take in the fact as it seems to be
fiction. It is sorry. It is a shame. We dont want to accept it. We
try not to, but the silence screams as the reality stands. Death.
It truly is the end. You have no power, no control. You let go long
before, but now the consequence seems too much to pay. If only we
could go back; youre sure it wouldnt have to be this way, youre
sure they would do it right. You stare, and as more and more people
slowly leave, you are still there staring, you are the last one,
you still cant grasp it. Why wont they wake up? Its all a trick
wake up, nice try, you can wake up now.
Unfortunately after hours of talking to an empty body you
realize that sleeping eyes do not wake; they sleep forever. You
still have time. Open your eyes. You have one life, one chance, one
choice; its yours to make.