Monday, May 11, 1998
In a nutshell, student politicians just plain bug
USAC: High-schoolish activities, silly promises produce
disenchantment
In case you haven’t noticed, spring has arrived at UCLA! Signs
of spring are everywhere: The flowers are blooming, the sun is
shining (well, most of the time, damn El Nino!), seniors are just
beginning to attend classes this quarter and horny squirrels can be
seen chasing each other around campus, scampering around trees,
bushes, trash cans, tables, my feet, up my leg. Goddamnit, get off
of me! Furry bastards!
Speaking of nutheads, campus politicians also appear on the
campus scene for one week in spring. They arrive all at once and in
a hurry, carrying with them batches of flyers, large assortments of
colorful banners, signs and T-shirts that bear one logo or another,
and an entourage of friends eager to get their buddy elected and
share some of that fabulous USAC spotlight. They camp out on Bruin
Walk, giving all undergrads the opportunity to get lean and mean as
they learn how to perform the famous Bruin Walk Shuffle, gracefully
dodging out of the way of overly excited campaigners thrusting out
flyers and chasing terrified students around various Daily Bruin
kiosks. Students quickly learn how to run the gauntlet down Bruin
Walk, ignoring any attempts at communication and attention-getting,
regardless if they come from politician or friend, until they reach
the safety of Westwood Plaza.
In recent years I have particularly enjoyed the challenge posed
by courageous individuals who choose to wear those cumbersome
sandwich boards asking people to vote for them. I lock my arm in a
straight-arm football position and head straight down Bruin Walk at
full steam. One good hit and Whammo! I send ’em spinning like an
out-of-control Disney teacup.
To be honest, this is the first year I voted in a USAC election.
There is really no good reason why I haven’t voted in the past,
unless you count apathy, disinterest, confusion, ignorance about
the candidates’ views and a general lack of respect for all that is
USAC as good reasons. It’s always so hard to get yourself to vote
when you really don’t care about the people you would be voting
for.
At least in a state or national election, I have strong feelings
about the people I’m voting for or against. Here at UCLA, at least
in years past, all of the candidates were about the same. Same
basic platform, same basic T-shirts, signs and placards, and
annoying attitudes. How can I vote when I don’t like anybody on the
ballot and I know I’m just going to write in the name of my dog for
president?
Politicians really bother me. There’s just something a bit slimy
about all of them – kinda like used car salesmen, you know, always
sizing you up and grinning at you with those big, bright shiny
teeth, like at any second they’re going to lunge at your throat.
Around Thanksgiving, I always have nightmares about Bill Clinton
and Rush Limbaugh carving me up and serving me with a nice, light
gravy and potatoes. Chicano au gratin. I especially don’t trust
campus politicians. Always whining and complaining about different
things and never doing anything about it. I love listening and
reading about all of the different changes they’re going to make on
campus and then waiting for all of those changes they promised.
I’m still waiting.
Every year, candidates complain about the lack of the student
body’s interest about USAC elections. You know why there’s always a
lack of interest? Because you’re all full of crap.
It’s not hard to spot a bullshitter – they’re always trying to
sell you something. Vote for me, I’ll fight for you, represent your
views for you, lower your tuition, save your earth, stop all wars,
defeat all unjust laws, wash your car, wax your floors, believe me,
I’ll take care of you. Hey loser, I don’t need you to do all of
those things for me, OK? If I wanted to get my views expressed, I
sure as hell wouldn’t want somebody else expressing them for
me!
I can’t believe these people get to use my tuition money for
their little political games. This ain’t ASB anymore. Now you’re
playing with my money and in case you haven’t heard, I am poor. I’m
so poor, homeless people in Westwood give me change. I’m so poor,
Gov. Wilson declared me an emergency area.
If you’re going to use my money, you’d better use it the way I
want it to be used. I still think I deserve a refund for all the
money I’ve given to USAC over the years. Hundreds of dollars and
all I have to show for it is a handful of protests, a couple of
annoying convocation speeches, some doofus getting arrested on
Wilshire (way to fight for my rights) and stipend hikes for USAC
members. Glad to see my money didn’t go to waste there.
I know some people believe I shouldn’t say stuff like that,
because they don’t see me getting active in the cause. What the
hell are you talking about? What cause, moron? I can’t skip a
midterm to go to a rally to protest an issue on which I haven’t had
time to review all sides. I have to work, go to class, try to find
a job. I have more pressing concerns than the wants of USAC.
This year, I voted – not because I really felt my vote made a
difference – but because I feel if you don’t vote, then you don’t
have a right to complain and man, I love to complain. I tried to
get a good feel on the candidates before I voted. You know, make
that educated choice. There weren’t a lot of options to choose
from. Most positions only had one option to choose from. I couldn’t
really identify with a lot of the candidates. So if anybody saw a
ballot with a lot of write-ins, it was probably mine.
I really hope things will be different next year. I really hope
whoever wins will realize that instead of pushing their own ideas,
they’re supposed to be pushing the ideas of the campus
majority.
Oof, there. I think I’ve just vomited all of the gripes about
USAC I’ve been storing up over the years. I feel much better now,
like a new man. Sorry about the ranting, but sometimes you just
gotta say it – you know what I mean? You’ve always got to have hope
that maybe next year, things will be different even if it isn’t
likely to be. I hope everyone who voted read up on the issues,
chose carefully and will keep a close watch on their reps next
year. Remember it’s your money they’re using. Make sure they use it
right.
Good luck on midterms everyone.
Jesse Torres