Friday, May 22, 1998
Media perpetuate unrealistic ideal
BODIES: Women should reject society’s focus on sexuality,
redefine worth
You know, breasts are peculiar things. I mean, they are
biologically designed to facilitate lactation, yet in American
society, they serve an entirely different cosmetic end. Breasts
aren’t seen for their biological purpose; rather they represent
just one of the many female body parts by which a woman’s worth is
measured in American "culture."
This objectification communicates the idea that women must copy
the female ideal (an ideal displayed throughout print, television
and movie media). Women in the media are either waifs or Playboy
bunnies who sleep with any man who asks them to. This unrealistic
ideal of what women are expected to look and act like compels
dangerous attempts at emulation. Women everywhere are working
desperately to be something they’re not.
Sit and watch television or a movie – you’ll see it. Women in
bikinis advertise beer. Many actresses portray bit characters who
walk in and out, perform sexual favors and disappear, remaining
unnamed and unimportant. Even women in positions of power (like
Amanda on "Melrose Place") use their feminine wiles to seduce their
coworkers and bosses; for some reason, these women couldn’t get
ahead based on their merits alone. Is this really how women are
expected to be in the United States? Is this really how women are
venerated, as mindless sexual nymphs whose proportions are more
important than their ideas and beliefs?
Print media images of women also convey twisted ideas of what
women should look and act like. Women flip through the pages of
popular magazines and become frustrated at what they think men and
the rest of society want. They compare themselves to these
thin-to-the-point-of-fragile models and wish they looked the same
way. Except they – we – will never look like those women, no matter
what we do.
I have decided to enact my own personal protest. I consciously
remind myself that the girls in magazines, on TV and in the movies
are extreme variations from the norm. I don’t have to look like
them and I don’t have to be what they represent.
Why should I care what society thinks I should look like? I’m
not 36-24-36. My hair isn’t long and lustrous. My eyes aren’t the
color of Jamaican waters. My nails aren’t French-manicured.
Sometimes a T-shirt and jeans are all I can gather together in the
fashion department. I don’t go to my communication studies classes
in clubbing clothes. I’m just your average girl. Although I
wouldn’t be photographed for Vogue, that doesn’t mean that my
beauty (or lack thereof, according to the media industry) is all
that I have to offer as a woman.
Not only do I not look like the media-concocted image of a
woman, I don’t act like her either. I don’t use my sexual prowess
to climb the social or employment ladder. I have actual ideas and
complicated thoughts within my brain. I enjoy the company of men,
but I don’t cater to them as if they were my masters; in fact, I
prefer it the other way around.
What can be done so that women everywhere will protest these
undesirable expectations along with me? How do we curtail ideas
which encourage women to diet obsessively, sometimes to the point
of developing serious disorders and unhealthy mental outlooks? I
could rant and rave about how it’s all about overhauling the
male/societal expectation. I could angrily and passionately
criticize American men for making women feel the way we do about
our bodies. Instead, I want to suggest something realistic. And for
some reason, I just don’t think that telling men to stop adoring
our breasts is going to cut it – I think that battle was lost the
minute I stepped onto the field.
No, let’s try it another way; let’s be honest with ourselves.
Let’s just recognize the existing version of the female ideal as
the control in our little experiment. If we can’t change what is
expected, what variable can we tweak?
Women can accept themselves for who they are. They can accept
the fact that they may not look like what society expects, but that
they can still look the best they can.
This means, ladies, we should work with what we have. If you
have beautiful eyes, play them up. If you have a great mouth, smile
more often. If you have delicate hands, break out the nail polish.
If you have great legs, pull on a short skirt. And when you are
done with all of this, make sure that you are doing this for
yourself and no one else.
Remind yourself that you are much more than just physical
traits. Flaunt your intellect. Impress them with your witty
conversation. Bowl them over with your awareness, with your
kindness, with your infectious laugh. Watch them walk away from the
fabricated-pretty girl and flock towards charming, wonderful
you.
By obsessing over the female form and sexuality, too many
Americans inaccurately define a woman’s purpose. Unfortunately for
those who seek to constrain us, most women no longer view
themselves as walking mannequins designed to satisfy every man they
run into. Take a minute to talk to a woman and she’ll give you a
better reason to stick around than the measurement of her waist or
the frequency of her sexual excursions. It’s likely you’ll be most
impressed with what she has to say. And if she’s anything like me,
she’ll be talking for days.