Monday, July 13, 1998
One-night
GOODS: Forging lasting relationship with money requires balance,
control
So, you go to the vending machine with a handful of change – I
mean a massive handful – because you’re hungry and nutrition really
isn’t all that important, now is it? Your friend, Bjorn, is with
you as you put in five pennies, because you want to get rid of your
pennies, and of course they come sliding back out. Then you read
the machine: "Quarters, nickels, dimes only." What’s the deal here?
Are pennies worthless?
Do they have the right to do this? Well, do they?
If you put five pennies in, that should count as 5 cents,
shouldn’t it? I guess for now pennies are worthless, so you resolve
to pump the machine with nickels and dimes (no quarters, since you
save those for the laundry machines). People just don’t know the
value of money – much less a penny – but you figure: "Who cares,
I’ll find something to do with the pennies."
So, you take out your chips and you start eating. Right then
your friend says, "Are you sure that you want to do that?"
"What do you mean?"
"Smell your hands."
"What?"
"Smell your hands."
"Smell my hands?"
"Yes, smell your hands."
"OK."
So, you smell your hands. Yep – you guessed it: they don’t smell
good. You see, as money passes through people’s hands, it acquires
a pungent odor.
You look at your friend and state the obvious: "Well, maybe I
should wash my hands." And, you do – twice – with extra soap.
And as you wash your hands you think to yourself, "Why do people
say that they can smell the money, as though the smell of money is
a good thing?"
But Bjorn doesn’t think that money is too dirty for his hands.
In fact, he enjoys handing it out quite often. Bjorn is the kind of
guy who loves to tell you about his latest financial conquest – and
no, I don’t mean the money he’s made in the stock market, just the
latest thing he’s bought. He loves electronics – you know, radios,
the latest computer and TV – so he’s always looking for a deal.
But you’re different: You’re saving your money for something
special. You think that it’s a good idea to hold on to your money
until you find something you really love. And Bjorn will spend
money on anything that just passes in front of his eye, and he’s
always looking for the latest trendy gadget. He really isn’t that
picky.
When you ask him why, guess what he says?
"There’s nothing wrong with spending money. It’s a perfectly
natural human need."
Human need? Is there a human need to spend money? Sex sells and
money buys it, I guess.
But you know and I know what he will never admit: he loves to
spend money because he gets a high from it.
It’s a very American thing to do, you know; just do it because
it feels good.
But you’ve never called him on the whole spending addiction that
he has going. He’s always saying, "You’re repressing yourself.
You’re holding yourself back. Come on, 70 to 80 percent of the
people your age spend and spend and love it. Maybe you should.
You’ve got protection, right?"
First, 70 to 80 percent – what is he talking about? 70 to 80
percent of whom, doing what?
And what is this whole thing about "protection"? You don’t need
protection unless your spending is out of control.
But then Bjorn says, "Well, I guess it’s not really protection
from everything, but I know when I get in the store, I put limits
on what I’m going to spend."
"So you’re saying that you know when to stop?"
"Yes. I’ve done this before."
"And, you can handle this."
"Yes, no problem. You know you want to do it, too. Come on.
You’ve got the money. And there’s no way that the clerk is going to
turn you down and say, ‘I’m sorry, you can’t buy that.’ You’re the
one in control. You’re the man."
"I’m the man? And I suppose that you’re going to say that I’m a
20th-century Puritan who’s too conservative to be healthy.
Apparently, I’m the person who’s materially deprived. I’m
repressed? You’re probably almost bankrupt."
"Come on, I can always earn more."
"Is that right?"
"Yes, I can. Come on, everyone’s doing it."
"Is that right? What about that TV you bought last week and
returned two weeks later? Do you know that when you buy the TV,
you’re making a commitment? You’re spending thousands of dollars,
and you don’t really care what you do with it."
"Come on, how can you talk about commitment? You know, you’re a
little strange."
"I’m strange? I’m not the one with electronic equipment
littering my apartment."
"Yeah, I want it there."
Just as he says this, he sees this beautiful – just gorgeous –
television set. He stops. He stares. The TV sits on this
long-legged table with a tan stain. You think he’s gone crazy. I
think you’re right.
His eyes make their way up the table to the TV set. You can tell
that he practically wants to break through the glass, press the
buttons, take a look at the on-screen menus and change the
channels.
This television, apparently, is special (at least for the
moment). He’s talking about the new design of the TV set, the
curves, "Oh, my goodness."
And, you’re thinking, "It’s only a TV. Give me a break."
But before you can say anything, he goes into the store and
talks to the clerk about buying that TV. They talk and trade
stories about the first TVs they bought when they were young. The
clerk says that he bought his first TV when he was 16 – and of
course this is an opportunity for your friend to brag about
himself. He bought his first TV when he was 13. The clerk is very
impressed.
Bjorn goes on and on with the clerk, and they’re laughing and
joking. He hands the clerk his credit card. And, guess what the
clerk says?
"I’m sorry, your card has been denied. Maybe you have
‘insufficient funds.’"
Surprise, surprise.
Your friend, I guess, was willing to buy anything that came his
way, but credit limits have brought him down from Cloud $9.
You, on the other hand, are waiting. You figure, why not wait a
few years until you have enough money – I don’t know, maybe wait
even until you’re set in a career, maybe even married, when you can
buy a really nice television that will last.
But still, most people don’t make TVs that last anymore.