Monday, August 31, 1998
Little League baseball stars deserve drugs
to stay on top
COLUMN: Media, world seem to send message that chemicals are
OK
I believe that the governing body of the Little League should
supply "Andro" and Creatine for all of the players who participate
in the Little League World Series.
Even easier than that, I suggest that team moms should spike the
orange wedges with this stuff to ensure that every child gets his
or her healthy dose, whether they want to or not.
I mean, how else is the United States going to compete with the
teams from Cuba, Japan, Thailand and other Third World countries
who send 35-year-old males posing as pre-pubescent sluggers to the
United States to kick our ass year after year?
Little League Baseball should take an example from the big
leaguers and realize that if you have individuals who can foul-tip
fastballs off of their forearms for a home run, all will be right
with the world.
If the United States had team of 11-year-olds with biceps
resembling holiday hams and legs the width of tree trunks who can
jack 600-foot homeruns, I guarantee that we would become the Little
League Baseball hotbed of the world.
Why limit the wonders of performance enhancing drugs to the
major leagues?
If a 10-year-old rolls up to GNC and wants to buy some Creatine
Monohydrate so that he can bulk up to 255 pounds with five percent
body fat, why not let him?
In a couple of years you can call him up to the majors where he
can shatter the home run record.
If teams from all of the other countries in the world can have
alleged 12-year-olds who sport five o’clock shadow and have
cigarette butts hanging out of their mouths while taking infield
practice, why can’t we have children juiced up on a cornucopia of
performance enhancing drugs?
I mean, isn’t that the message that ESPN is sending by airing
creatine ads during their telecast of Little League World Series
games?
Isn’t that the message that Mark McGwire is indirectly sending
to millions of fans who regard him as a role model?
The fact of the matter is that the game isn’t about the game any
more.
It’s more about "How can I gain an advantage over my nearest
competitor?"
The phrase, "If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying," is too
true.
Tim Yun