Friday, October 9, 1998
Idealism requires just too much energy
ENVIRONMENT: It’s easier to exploit world than save it, so don’t
bother trying
While entangled in an intellectual discourse with my cousins, I
finally stumbled upon the ultimate truth – enlightenment, if you
will. My years of closet-socialist caterwauling and soft-hearted
whining about the evils of Capitalism and Colonialism were brought
to an abrupt, refreshing end. So now here I am – to champion the
fruits of selling out, because it really, really does feel good. I
have finally come to terms with the truth: we are living on a
floating rock, that’s right, a floating rock in space – so what are
we all getting so worked up about?
Seriously, idealism just takes too much damn energy. So let’s
consume, exploit, indulge and party like it’s 1999. I am only alive
once, as far as I know, so I am going to enjoy my brief flight of
fancy. If I don’t indulge, someone else will.
That beautiful fiber which our species was endowed – which has
begun a snowball even the greenhouse effect – can’t stop; I’m
talking about our irrepressible need to conquer. Let’s be honest
with ourselves – since the beginning, our species has had an
incredible gift to destroy, an inherent talent to oppress and an
insatiable appetite to indulge until we spoil ourselves rotten.
So why should I waste my time on this planet purging and
complaining? Let’s stop fooling ourselves and put all that we have
into engineering a world that will exist entirely for the enjoyment
of mankind. We’re half way there already, so let’s not let those
irritating tree-huggers impede our progress any longer.
We must finish paving the road to total material indulgence that
was begun by our forefathers.
Am I being dramatic? You’ll have to excuse me, but I have
finally had a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. Until recently,
I had been living under the oppressive conviction that the human
race needed saving and that I was obliged to play a role in its
salvation. You know the whole spiel – "The Earth is not ours; we
are merely borrowing it from our children and grandchildren." But
you know what I have finally realized? Humanity may be on a
downward spiral that will inevitably end in the dark recesses of
genocide – but the farther we fall, the more fun it gets on this
floating rock.
Yeah sure, maybe every once in a while, when I happen to catch a
glimpse of the starless night sky through my sunroof, I may notice
a slight sense that something is amiss. But that feeling will
quickly abandon me once I pop in my "Abba’s Greatest Hits" CD. And
perhaps at a contrary stoplight, which isn’t aware of the fact that
I am an important person, with important things to do and important
places to go (the mall), I may actually be stalled long enough to
wonder what exactly is accomplished by rushing through a world of
pavement and billboards day after day. But hey, those are leather
seats I’ll be sitting on (imitation at least), and not only do they
feel and look good, but they are actually products of Mother Nature
herself – kind of.
I am finally ready to stop behaving like a vegetarian wearing
Ferragamo shoes.
Take those minks out of hibernation and join me in my quest
towards perfection. I have finally grown tired of trying to swim
upstream. The truth is, no one wants to hear anyone scolding them.
I remember the retort I once got from my mother, sparked by my
incessant bellyaching over the evils of the modern world: "Well
then, should we all go back to urinating in bushes?".
And the answer to that is simple – we shouldn’t.
We no longer have to work fourteen-hour days in factories under
sub-human conditions just to scrape together enough to feed our
families and keep a roof over our lice-infested heads.
Now we are free to gorge ourselves and loaf through our days on
aptly named recliners watching one of the multiple programs
manufactured purely for our tacit enjoyment. And I have never had
to slink through the bushes on my way to my grandmother’s house in
order to avoid hungry wolves – or ravenous lions, tigers or bears
for that matter. Now all I have to avoid are killers, rapists and
wackos – Oh my!
I am a lucky girl. In fact, we are all lucky girls and boys.
Paved roads, cable TV, luxury cars, fast food, indoor plumbing and
labor laws – the list goes on. We all live like fat
seventeenth-century French aristocrats. Yeah sure, maybe everyone
doesn’t reap exactly the same benefits, but we’ve all got at least
one hand in capitalism’s cookie jar.
Think about it, we are the busiest people to ever grace this
planet, with absolutely the least to do. My ancestors were farmers,
and sure they had to build their own house, grow their own food,
maybe even make their own clothes, but they could never keep up in
today’s fast-paced world of networks, satellites and freeways. We
have more free time than any culture has ever had before, so why
not use it to float through life in a state of perma-amused,
constantly distracted, frantic indulgence?
Sure, we’ve had to sacrifice some things along the way: fresh
air, a few thousand plant and animal species, our connection to
Mother Earth and Father Sky. But who really has time to count? And
maybe not every change our society has undergone has been ideal:
the lack of community, the loss of integrity, the increased rates
of crime and addiction, the breakdown of the family unit, blah,
blah. But you know what I have conveniently decided? Those elements
have always been present in human societies to some degree. The
only difference is that now we hear about it every time we turn on
the TV.
Now we know what evils are committed a few towns away, across
the state and everywhere else. So now when we refuse to confront
humanity’s swelling flaws, we employ excuses such as apathy, or
lethargy, maybe greed, or simply that we are too busy to care about
our neighbors’ hardships.
I can no longer take the heartbreak that comes with attempting
to deny that simple fact. I can no longer stand idly by,
hypocritically moaning about a society whose sins I partake in. No
longer can I beguile myself into hoping that maybe one day soon our
generation will wake up and make a conscious decision to reverse
humanity’s ill-fated crash course.
I’m taking the easy way out. What else can I do? It’s not my
fault I wasn’t taught integrity and responsibility. So why stop
now? Live fast, and if you can’t do it yourself, live fast
vicariously through the hyperbolized encounters of the
two-dimensional people who are within your fingertips’ reach any
time day or night.
The conscious decision has been made to destroy this world in
order to enjoy it, much like any good party will inevitably leave
the house it was thrown at in shambles.
So if you can, party like a rock star, imbibe, enjoy, indulge
and exploit.
Inhale a pack a day if you want, if we are still on this
floating rock by the time any of us develop cancer they’ll probably
be growing replacement lungs on the backs of llamas (as long as
llamas aren’t already extinct).
Catie Snow Bailard
Bailard is a third-year communications studies student, with a
minor in Native American studies.
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