Thursday, October 15, 1998
18 simple facts prove America remains No. 1
EUROPE: ‘Inferior’ system holds edge in economics, technology,
military wins
By Hovey Liao
This is in response to Stephanie Pfeffer’s column "European
vision of America not pretty" (Viewpoint, Oct. 12, 1998).
First of all, let me just say that I have been to Europe. It’s
very beautiful and I definitely had a great time there. But as a
product of the so-called "inferior" American educational system, I
feel the need to respond to the European view that they are somehow
better than Americans.
Let’s compare Europe and America head-to-head. Note, since
America is only a bit over 200 years old, we can leave out
Shakespeare and other things that preceded the creation of this
nation.
1. American Minutemen, comprised of untrained soldiers, defeated
the battle-hardened army of the British Empire. Score one for
America.
2. The Louisiana Purchase gave America some of the most fertile
and productive farmlands on earth. Big European blunder. Score one
more for America.
3. Europeans invented the first automobile. Americans invented
production line method to cheaply produce cars, making it
affordable for the common people. Score one for both sides.
4. An American invented the light bulb and the telephone. Score
two big ones for America. Ring, ring!
5. Europeans begged America to help stop European in-fighting in
World War I. Many American lives and much American money were
spent. Score one more for America.
6. Europeans again begged for America to help stop in-fighting,
this time in World War II. Since this is a repeat trip, score two
more for America.
7. The post-World War II Marshall Plan helped Europeans rebuild
from destruction inflicted upon themselves. Score one more for
America.
8. The Berlin AirLift. The formation of NATO and the stationing
of American troops in Europe to protect western Europeans from
their Eastern cousins. Boy, this is getting old. Score one more for
America.
9. An American invented the television. Score one more for
America. Time for "South Park." Schweet!
10. "Uneducated" Americans invented the modern computer. Big IBM
mainframe computers still run most of the world’s biggest
corporations. Microsoft and Intel still dominate the world’s home
personal-computer market. Score three more for America.
11. Rock ‘n’ roll, along with jazz, are American inventions. The
Europeans counter with the Beatles and Led Zeppelin – but also the
Spice Girls. Score even for this category.
12. American engineers and architects built skyscrapers
unmatched by their European counterparts. Score one more for
America.
13. The birth of the Internet took place in California when UCLA
scientists communicated with Stanford scientists. Score one for the
surfer dudes and beach girls.
14. The SR-71 Black Bird is still the fastest and highest flying
airplane ever built. Score one more for America.
15. The Space Shuttle was the first reuseable space craft. The
Russian copy – er, I mean version – built 10 years later looks
strikingly similar to the American one. Score one more for
America.
16. Gunslinger cowboy President Reagan sent the Evil Russian
Empire into oblivion in the arms race. The Russians couldn’t keep
up and the Berlin Wall fell. Unappreciative Europeans celebrated.
Score one for the Gipper.
17. American business, product of the fat and lazy culture,
built the world’s strongest economy, and the American dollar became
the world currency. Score one more for America. Cha-ching!
Finally … 18. If there is air on the moon, mankind and
womankind would be able to hear the American anthem there because,
despite all our bad skools (er, I mean schools) and unsophisticated
ways, the American flag is the only one on the moon. Score 10 for
America.
Since I’m a product (UCLA ’95) of such an "inferior educational
system," I’ll leave it up to the smart Europeans to add up the
final score.
"Oh say can you see, by the dawn’s early light …"Hovey
Liao
Liao is a UCLA alumnus.
Comments, feedback, problems?
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