Tuesday, November 3, 1998
Sports season seen in stream
of consciousness
COLUMN: NBA fans drowning
in their sorrow should consider lacrosse, an engaging
alternative
Now that it’s November, I guess that means it’s time for
basketball season … Oh wait, they’re locked out, what a pity …
Hey, whatever happened to the NBA anyway? … I feel so bad for
those guys, they must really by struggling trying to make ends meet
during this lockout. Shaquille O’Neal might have to settle for a
Ferrari instead of the new Bentley.
Speaking of being locked out, how do you think college football
teams such as Tulane, Wisconsin and Arkansas feel? All of these
teams are undefeated and have absolutely no shot to even be
considered for a national championship. Did you have fun on
Halloween? The Bruins did; they were dressed up as the jesters in
college football’s royal court. But at least they won, I hope this
was their one letdown of the year. Look for a blowout next week
against Oregon State. And how ’bout them Bruins? With that
resounding win over Stanford on Saturday, they really had to strike
fear in the hearts of Ohio State, Kansas State and Tennessee. For
that matter, I don’t even think that performance would have struck
fear in the heart of East North Dakota Tech. Hey, isn’t that who
Kansas State played last week?
Hockey season sure is exciting. Those new offense-oriented rules
have really increased scoring and fan excitement. The 3-1 games
sure get my adrenaline pumping. Adrenaline, adrenaline, isn’t that
the substance that Mark McGwire used and that major league baseball
wants to ban? Nope, that was androstendione, but hey, I’m willing
to bet that the 1998 season got plenty of fans’ adrenaline pumping,
andro or no andro.
Mike Piazza for seven years at $91 million, seems like the
Dodgers got out at the right time. The guy is a great hitter, but
it has been proven many times that a catcher’s career has the
shortest life span of any position player. By the way, look for the
Dodgers to be nearly unrecognizable next year. No Ramon Martinez,
no Eric Young, no Bobby Bonilla, no Ismael Valdes, no Jeff Shaw, no
Eric Karros. More disappointing than losing any of the
aforementioned players is the fact that they want to abandon Vero
Beach.
Is nothing sacred anymore? Obviously not, with the Fox Group
running the show. They want to clean house so they can go after Mo
Vaughn or (gasp!) Randy Johnson. Damn, it would be sweet if we
could score both of them. I love when people say "we" when
referring to their favorite team. Does it give them a sense of
unity or a special bond with the club? I don’t know that, but I
sure do know that Michael Jordan wouldn’t include "us" on the Bulls
roster.
Boxing is a weird sport. Every time it looks like it’s got one
foot in the grave, somebody comes around to save it. Oscar De La
Hoya? Hell no, I’m talking about Prince Naseem Hamed. That boy is
dope. He is the most entertaining athlete I’ve seen in a long time.
He’s only a featherweight, but at 40-0 with 31 knockouts including
18 knockouts in his last 19 fights, the guy is ridiculously strong
for his weight class.
I thought Roy Jones Jr. was the man, but "Nas" takes the cake.
On Saturday, he fought the No. 1 contender, Wayne McCullough, and
literally toyed with the "Pocket Rocket" for 12 rounds. Critics say
that the Prince is too much of a loudmouth and showman, but that’s
what boxing is all about. Imagine Hector "Macho" Camacho’s panache,
Jorge "The Clown Prince" Paez’ flair, and Muhammed "The Greatest"
Ali’s ring savvy, cockiness, braggadocio and raw skill rolled into
one.
Is anybody else disappointed in Monday Night Football this year?
The lack of quality games is astounding. Compounding the poor game
selection by the brass at ABC is the wonderful starting time of 5
p.m. Who the hell gets home by five o’clock and who the hell wants
to finish the game by eight o’clock? Just another example of the
East Coast bias in every single facet of the media. On the other
hand, at least I get home in time for the second-half kickoff.
However, maybe this season was the season to have crappy Monday
Night Football. The overall state of the NFL is lousy  there
are about four good teams, two horrible teams and every other team
is exactly equal. How else could you explain the Raiders having six
wins?
Wow, I want to play lacrosse. I was watching it on ESPN2 the
other night (OK, I’m a sports junkie, so sue me) and it looks hella
fun. It’s like combining the best aspects of hockey, football and
soccer into one sport. I was seriously wondering how this sport
never caught on in the United States. It’s fast, physical and cool.
I guess the silly uniforms just turned a whole lot of people
off.
I know this is way off of topic, but did anybody watching the
baseball playoffs notice how much Yankee southpaw Andy Pettitte
looks like Harry Connick Jr.? I can’t wait for "The Waterboy" to
come out. If it’s anywhere near the hilarity of "Happy Gilmore", it
will be worth seeing about five times in the theatres. Adam Sandler
is an honorary member of my dream team in any sport.
A name to remember  Daunte Culpepper: look for this guy to
be on the scene for a while once he reaches the NFL. The
quarterback from Central Florida is truly a game-breaker in every
aspect. Imagine a Kordell Stewart who can actually pass the
football. Another name  Evan Lovett: this guy will be in the
major leagues in no time, mowing ’em down with his blazing fastball
and wicked knuckleball. Oh wait, that was just my imagination
again. I’m a star, I’d rather be a comet by far. Anyways, I’m out
like Afro Puffs and knee-high socks …
Evan Lovett is currently working on his next masterpiece, "The
Playa Way: Forty Ounces and a Twenty Sack," and should be sober
enough to respond to e-mails at [email protected]
Lovett
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