What are the criteria for a perfect child? If you could create
your ideal son or daughter, would she have blue eyes and blonde
hair? Would he have amazing basketball skills and get a 1600 on his
SAT? According to ads asking for egg donors in college newspapers
everywhere, “Preferred Donors will meet the following
Criteria: Height Approximately 5’6″ or Taller,
Caucasian, Blue Eyes, SAT Score around 1300, Extra compensation
available for someone who might be especially gifted in athletics,
science/mathematics or music.”
We may pass by these ads without paying them much attention. But
silently, they embody the superficiality that plagues our society,
and they send us the message that outer beauty is everything.
Before last year, fertility clinics or egg broker businesses
paid egg donors between $2,500 and $5,000 for eggs to give couples
who could not have their own child the opportunity to have
children. But on Oct. 25, 1999, Ron Harris changed the egg trade
into big business. With his Web site, “Ron’s
Angels,” Harris created a market for selling the eggs of
beautiful women. Now, ads offer up to $150,000 for the perfect egg.
Who is Ron Harris? Before manning his successful Web site, Harris
was a photographer in the porn industry and a film director for the
Playboy Channel. His background may seem irrelevant, but it
underscores the obsession with looks that such ads exude.
As Harris himself remarks on his site, “I know what
I’m saying about beauty, it’s what’s already
going on in the culture. This site simply mirrors our current
society, in that beauty usually goes to the highest bidder.”
Harris reminds us that if we wish to get plastic surgery or fake
breasts to become more “beautiful,” it’s all
about the money. While these decisions are none of my business,
when it shifts to formulating your own beautiful child, I think we
have to draw the line.
Harris may contend that he is simply going with the flow of
society, but his backwards philosophies attempt to dictate our
values and objectify women and children. “Those things that
are wanted most are beautiful women, beautiful children, fine art,
real estate, gold, money and power. All these objects are stable
and create stability in your life and help to guarantee the success
of your genes, to get your genes to the next generation and
beyond,” Harris writes. It is this twisting of Darwin’s
ideas that the Nazis used to justify their racist practices.
Not only does Harris succeed in equating women and children with
objects, but by including beautiful women as a means to create
stability and guarantee the success of one’s genes, he
alludes to the fact that men are the only ones passing on their
genes to the next generation. It may seem that his ideas are so
farfetched that they are not even worth mentioning. But look at Los
Angeles and you will see many people who buy into the idea that
beauty and material wealth are everything. Harris’ ideas,
along with ads asking for the perfect egg donors, contribute to the
notion that value lies only in superficial beauty.
Harris’s Web site pictures consist of beautiful women
hoping to sell their eggs for hundreds of thousands of dollars. As
Rob Dreher, columnist for the New York Post remarks, “We are
fast approaching the point where the poor, the sick and the
unbeautiful will be thought of as enemies.”
What ads such as these tell us is that our worth depends on our
beauty, and that beauty lies in being tall, blond and blue-eyed.
Some may argue that parents are simply aiming to create a child
that most nearly reflects their own characteristics. But
considering that the majority of ads ask for these same white
features, it becomes evident that those able to spend the money to
get such model eggs are themselves blond and blue eyed. So, along
with the Jaguar and the designer Prada bag, it is now possible to
get the top-of-the-line baby to match. Nothing but the best,
right?
We must examine what it says about our society that those who
can afford it wish to have kids with these certain physical
features. I agree that parents should be able to find an egg donor
whose characteristics match theirs, yet I am afraid we will fall
into a pattern where only the rich are able to create the
healthiest, smartest babies.
With the skyrocketing price that people are willing to pay for
eggs, what happens to the low-income or even middle class couples
hoping to have a child? Obviously, they can continue to have
children that turn out fine by paying less. Thus, there exists no
reason for the “perfect” egg business that has arisen.
In addition, what happens to the thousands of children waiting to
be adopted everyday?
With the ability to buy the perfect egg, many parents who would
previously have turned to adoption will instead vie to create the
ideal child. This only contributes to the notion that orphans who
may have some problems or may simply not look exactly like their
parents are not worth raising or loving. It takes a lot of
commitment and love to adopt a child. Such ads, however, discourage
adoption by suggesting that one must have a beautiful, unblemished
child in order to love him or her.
While such advertisements may seem harmless, they add to the
bombardment of image of blond and white as beautiful. I’m not
saying this is not beautiful. But, what if I have dark skin and
black eyes? Or freckles and red hair? Am I worth any less? On
Harris’s Web site, while the minimum bid (yes they auction
them off) for a brown-eyed woman is $15,000, for a blond egg it
jumps to $90,000. These ads uphold the idea that there exists a
certain standard of beauty. Anything different from this standard
does not appear to be worth as much.
Not only are certain physical features praised as beautiful, but
since when did physical appearance become our first priority in
having kids anyway? Call me crazy, but I always thought the point
of having a child was to raise and love another human being, no
matter what they look like or what SAT score they might get.
In addition, a “model” egg does not guarantee a
beautiful child. So what if the child turns out to have brown eyes
or is not as athletic as promised? Will he be loved any less?
Unless we are ready to love a child unconditionally, we
shouldn’t be having one in the first place.
Many advances in technology have helped us immensely. The
ability for infertile couples to have children is no exception. But
we run into dangerous territory when such advancements begin to
mirror the negative side of our society and no one speaks up. I am
not saying that advertisements offering up to $150,000 for the
perfect egg are the worst thing ever to happen and that we must all
boycott the newspapers that run them. But I am saying that to
remain silent while superficiality is encouraged and beauty is
bought for thousands of dollars is sad. It is sad because we can do
better.
By becoming aware and doing our part to send the message that
appearance is not everything, we can rise above these tendencies
and let those with brown hair or 900 SAT scores or no athletic
skills know that they are okay, and just as worthy of love as
anyone else.