Steel graduated from UCLA in 2000 with a degree in English with
a minor in Germanic languages.
By Kirra Steel
I received an e-mail from a friend telling me that I was in a
photograph used in a Go Greek supplement of the Daily Bruin’s
back to school issue (The Greek Guide, Fall 2000). We laughed at
the irony and stupidity that a picture with a deactivated member of
a sorority was used in an ad to promote joining the Greek system at
UCLA.
But as I rode the train home from work I stopped laughing.
Actually, I felt sick to my stomach. My face was being used
(without my permission) to promote a system I find morally
reprehensible, elitist and divisive. My face, my picture, my
identity, was being associated with a group that does not personify
me. I managed my senior year to escape my sorority (many do not)
and be my true self. You may be thinking, “C’mon. There
are bigger problems than going Greek.”
What people fail to see is that sororities and fraternities at
UCLA are really a part of the same institutions and mind-sets that
promote racism, hate and social inequity throughout the country.
The Greek system fundamentally is an elitist institution because it
does not let everyone join, even though they say they are so
diverse, racially harmonious and willing to give financial support
to the indigent who want to join.
While the Greek system promotes the magic spark of
“unity,” how it selects its members goes to show how
exclusionary it is. They claim there is a house for everyone. But
what if you are, according to their standards, not
“everyone” and perceived to be too fat, ugly or poor?
The Greeks will argue these are not the reasons they don’t
let people in; rejection is due to “personality
conflicts.” Let me take you into rush, and you can decide for
yourself if potential members are being judged and selected for
their “personalities.”
 Illustration by RACHEL RELICH/Daily Bruin After each
“party,” we sorority girls frantically grabbed our pens
and marked little slips of paper, dutifully ranking the rushee we
just talked to. On a scale of one to five, we circled the numbers
we felt described her hair, nails, outfit, skin, makeup, ethnicity,
height and (the big one) weight. Afterward, we gave an overall
score of the girl from one to five.
Once we signed our names on the sheets, we tallied up all of the
rushee’s scores and placed them on a nice graph for reference
when we were voting who should be dropped. This is how we choose
our “new friends.”
Our new friends are not even people, though, just brief
impressions and numbers all calculated to hopefully create a large
pledge class. Many ignored the reason why our advisors collected
and destroyed these score sheets and our rush handbooks. If anyone
found these sheets or the detailed descriptions of how we pick
members, they would be horrified and sue the sorority. No paper
evidence remained of the blatant discrimination and cruelty that
occur during the member selection process.
Why are rush and the selection process secret? Why were we
subtly threatened and told never to repeat what was said in these
meetings? Because it is so blatantly wrong and they know there
would be hell to pay if it got out. No one ever dared challenge
this rule; I do not know exactly what would have happened if
someone did. But severe consequences were hinted at. They have you
so brainwashed that you begin to question your own beliefs and
morals to the point that you find it okay to call someone
horrible.
The cruelty and hate live on, though, in my conscience, memory
and heart. My favorite sorority activity that I am proud to have
taken part in was when we spoke about and secretly voted on the
rushees. We had to give a positive description (“Oh my gawd
she is so cute, loves to party and super-sweet!”) and a
negative description.
Some of my favorite “negatives” are “We need
to get rid of her because she will scare other girls away if she is
seen on our porch,” and “I will die and then deactivate
if I see her on campus in my letters!” There were much worse
negative descriptions and I still have to deal with the guilt of
saying such horrible things about young women I barely knew.
One member selection meeting I will never forget coincided with
the time I brought my friend, who I will call “Gloria,”
to dinner at the house. Little did I know, this was an open rush
ploy to try and recruit new members. I was proud that my sorority
sisters were known as the “nice girls” on the row and I
wanted to disprove Gloria’s skepticism.
Gloria was working, on scholarship, active in our floor
government and her church group, and seemed to know everyone on
campus. She had a life already and had no interest in joining.
It was lots of fun until we went to a meeting where it was
announced that Gloria was going to be evaluated for membership. Two
of my “sisters” proceeded to give negative descriptions
so awful I had to leave the room. Gloria was called “fat,
dumpy, disgusting” and they felt they would die if they saw
her in our sorority letters. These hateful words are still with me,
but what haunts me the most is that I did not deactivate right
then. No, I went on to become vice president of the sorority and
obviously I am still used to this day as a poster-child for the
Greek system.
How did they select members in other houses that were more
selective and “better” than my sorority? You see,
“diversity” in other houses means you have a brunette
in your pledge class. Gloria did not even want to join and even if
she did, where would she get the money? The Greek system likes to
talk about how they offer financial assistance to members, but as a
former pledge educator, I saw girls depledge because no one offered
them monetary aid.
So why call Gloria fat and ugly for no reason? Simple. Someone
who does not look exactly like them, have the same skin color,
financial status or clothes threatens the Greek system. I guess
Gloria and 90 percent of UCLA students do not have the right
“personalities.” But it doesn’t matter if you do
fit the physical mold of a sorority girl, because if you are
different in any way, you will be ostracized. This one story only
begins to explain why I left the Greek system.
When faced with what I would do in my last year at UCLA and for
the rest of my life, I decided to be true to my soul that believes
“all men are created equal” and that it is wrong to
judge people and to choose my “friends”on qualities
such as looks, skin color and family background, physical health
““ all of the things that people can’t control ““
just to make me feel better about myself. I can control how I act
toward other people and how I think.
I have no hard feelings for my “ex-sisters,” and I
wish them all the luck with fall rush because hey, sometimes out of
darkness you get real “Disneyland fireworks” and
light.
Out of my mistakes I have become a stronger and better person.
To all of you new freshman or lost Bruins who need someone to plan
the party for you (if you join you will soon be doing all the
work), need friends or a dose of self-confidence, take some advice
from the reluctant poster child of the Greek system.
Don’t let your years at UCLA be filled with regret and
shame by going Greek. Ask yourself, “Do I and can I be a part
of a system that promotes such backward values and elitist
attitudes?”
Do not wait until senior year to raise these crucial questions.
It is not worth it to sacrifice your Bruin pride and human
compassion to an organization that violates the very essence of our
common humanity. Go to ‘SC if you really want to be a frat
boy or sorority girl. You are a Bruin and way too smart!