Stancik is a fourth-year English student.
By Kristen Stancik
While reading Kirra Steel’s article (“Systematic
sisterhood promotes intolerance,” Daily Bruin, Viewpoint,
Oct. 5) on the intolerance and shameful behavior she encountered in
her sorority here at UCLA, I found myself not only shocked and
appalled, but offended.
I would first like to say that I am terribly sorry that Steel
had such a negative experience. She was not in my sorority, nor do
I know to which house she belonged. I also do not agree with the
rush tactics she described, and neither do my sorority sisters. We
do not score women on nail polish. We do not select our members
based on how skinny they are. We do not prefer blondes.
I can speak for my sorority as well as numerous others when I
say that we use the rush process, as imperfect and sometimes
impersonal as it is, to show potential members what is special
about our house, and invite them to show us what is special about
them.
My sorority does not sit around discussing positives and
negatives of each girl that came through the door, based on trivial
matters. My sisters pay attention to attitude and character, not
waist size and name-brand labels.
I would also like to point out that the “open rush
ploy” that Steel criticizes is actually a way for houses to
meet women who did not pledge during that period, in a more casual
setting than formal rush. Like I said, rush is not a perfect
process, but this “open rush” or continuous open
bidding, as it is normally called, gives women who are interested
in sororities another, less intimidating introduction to the
house.
More importantly, the women who join my sorority are kind people
who care about each other, both on our best days and our worst. I
have sisters from vastly different ethnic and cultural backgrounds,
and each of is us proud of where we came from. We bring our
experiences to the house to help it grow.
Steel says, “Someone who does not look exactly like them,
have the same skin color, financial status or clothes threatens the
Greek system.” This statement made me angry. I have three
jobs and still worry about money; I don’t bear a strong
resemblance to anyone in my house and I am consistently a season
behind any given fashion trend. And, lo and behold, I am accepted
as an active member of my sorority, vice president even, just like
Steel.
I don’t know what forced Steel to take that position, but
I take mine because I want to work to enhance the college
experience of the women that brightened my every day.
Hearing the words “hate,” “racism” and
“morally divisive” used to describe something I care
deeply about broke my heart. I am a better, stronger and more
accepting person because of the women in my sorority. They have
never once torn me down, but always built me up.
These are some of the greatest people I know, and in many ways,
we are a family. I have incredible respect and admiration for them,
based on their values, their character and the love and support
they constantly show me and each other. Steel’s
generalizations are horribly inaccurate.
Aside from disapproving of Steel’s house’s actions,
I was further dismayed by the fact that she presented these actions
as the accepted norm. I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone who
read that article got the impression that sororities are elitist
clone factories. Perhaps that was her intent.
I don’t know anything about Steel or her sorority, but
there are plenty of sororities on Hilgard that value individuality,
and I encourage women who are interested in finding a home like
this to try it for themselves.
Finally, to anyone who identified with Steel’s experience,
speak out to the women in your house. Talk to your sorority’s
national board or to the Panhellenic Council. Change the way it
works. Or leave. In any case, groups that thrive on ridicule serve
no one, and should not be perpetuated by ignorance or fear,
especially at UCLA.
I will graduate in the spring with four years of memories,
mostly of times spent with my sorority. None of them involve shame,
regret, disgrace or humiliation. They all involve love, support and
lots of laughter at no one’s expense.