Jeff and the Fresh Prints Jeff
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Say what you want about Steve Lavin, but this last week of
basketball has been pretty exciting. Some students camped out four
nights for the Stanford game, and the atmosphere in Pauley was
unlike anything I’ve seen in years. The stars came out for
the Stanford game, including Tom Cruise, Master P, John Lithgow and
the star of stars, Jaleel White. The alums even got off their
wallets at times to cheer.
This team may not be the most talented in recent memory, but
they are the most enjoyable to watch. Earl Watson has become an
all-time Bruin, and will be missed. It was fitting that in his
final home game, Watson broke UCLA’s career record for
steals, got a gash in his chin, had it stitched up, and came back
to lead the Bruins. Matt Barnes exploded for a career-high 32
points and Jason Kapono set a Pac-10 career record for phantom
fouls. When asked post-game about UCLA, announcer Dick Vitale said,
“Yeah baby, Duke is the greatest.”
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The Lakers are back on track after working the hapless Warriors
Monday night. Kobe’s gang got off to a 41-11 start, but the
most excitement came as the Lakers scored 110 points to get free
chalupas for the crowd. The most heart-felt cheer came from the
third row, where a cluster of cardiologists was sitting. The
chalupas come in three flavors ““ baja, Santa Fe and angio
plastia. It’s funny that people spend $400 to go to a Laker
game, but go bonkers when they win a 99 cent appetizer. And who
says bonkers these days?
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Troublemaker Rod Strickland signed with the Trailblazers after
getting cut by the Wizards last week. Strickland will back up Damon
Stoudamire and compete with teammates Rasheed Wallace and Shawn
Kemp for worst attitude in the league. The 34-year-old Strickland
joins Scottie Pippen, Arvydas Sabonis, Dale Davis, Steve Smith and
Kemp to give Portland some much-needed youth.
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Baseball is near and getting into high gear, or low gear, or
whatever you want to call it. Frank Robinson and his rules
committee cronies are trying to shorten games, which can drag on
like a sociology lecture. I think pitchers should be able to throw
even if the batter is not in the box, and players should get a walk
after two balls, because two balls is really all you need. They
should put a limit of three foul balls per batter and if a pitcher
doesn’t throw within 10 seconds, he gets shot in the
thigh.
The Dodgers were originally called the Trolley Dodgers, but
it’s time they become folly dodgers. Led by Gary Sheffield
and Kevin Malone, these guys are becoming the jokes of baseball.
Sheffield agreed to a $30 million contract for three years, but now
wants an extension or a trade. Otherwise, he said his stats could
suffer. There might not be an “I” in
“TEAM,” but there is a “ME” and an
“ATM,” so I guess it is just about the money. If I got
paid $10 million to play baseball, well, I wouldn’t be
writing for this campus rag. I told my editors if they don’t
start paying me, I’m not going to write good. So now you know
why.
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Ryan Leaf’s best moment with the Chargers came last week
when he was cut by them. San Diego might have kept Leaf, if only he
was good at playing football and not a jerk. In his Charger career,
Leaf threw 13 touchdowns, 33 interceptions and 203 temper tantrums.
Leaf was oddly claimed off waivers and will now throw interceptions
in Tampa Bay.
In other quarterback news, the Ravens were shaken up when they
signed Elvis Grbac to a five-year contract. Elvis joins Ray Lewis,
who is also familiar with a jailhouse rock.
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The X-awf-L’s ratings have dropped faster than pants in
Cancun over spring break. For the fourth consecutive week, ratings
have declined, down to a 2.9 share last week. I can’t believe
2.9 people actually watched it. I mean, if I want to watch bad
football, skanky cheerleaders and hazardous conditions, I’ll
just head over to USC.
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Survivor Update: It was a wild week down under. First, Jerri
publicized her chocolate-sex fantasies. Then Michael passes out in
a fire and burns his hands to shreds. Weekly prediction: my head
says Jeff gets the boot, but my heart feels self-described
“bitch” Jerri gets tossed.