Andy Garcia Garcia is a snot-nosed punk
who would take out both Paul and Michael any day of the week,
because the doggone girl is his. Send comments to [email protected].
I’ll admit it, I think Michael Jackson is the epitome of
coolness.
Sure he looks like a mix between E.T. and Gandhi, but who can
deny the brilliance underlying such great songs as
“Thriller,” “Smooth Criminal” or
“Dangerous”?
If I said I liked Michael Jackson 15 years ago, I can guarantee
that there would be a hefty number of Bruins who would agree with
me.
And I think there might still be a lot of Jackson lovers out
there.
As much as people want to deny their Jacksonian admiration,
there just hasn’t been a better performer ever since the guy
disappeared from America’s mainstream around the time
“Earth Song” was pushed into VH-1 obscurity.
For those of you that have been living under a rock for the past
few months, Michael Jackson has confirmed his participation in the
recently reformed Jackson 5. Yes, the original boy band is back,
and maybe they can show performers like the *NSLACKERS (who are
scheduled to honor the King by inducting him into the Rock
‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame later this month) how things
should be done.
As if this wasn’t enough, even more wondrous news has been
announced. A new Michael Jackson solo album is set to be released
sometime this spring. Of course, skeptics are going to point out
that the King’s last album, “Blood On The Dance
Floor,” was lackluster to say the least. I would have to
agree with them. Did anyone actually enjoy that putrid song
“You Are Not Alone?”
But then again, don’t forget that U2 released the utter
garbage, “Pop,” before “All That You Can’t
Leave Behind” made up for the dismal effort and Radiohead
released the terribly unpolished “Pablo Honey” before
“The Bends” could lead the band into its current path
of redefining the music world.
And, of course, someone had the incredibly un-brilliant idea
that Snow could be the next best Canadian rapper with his annoying
hit “Informer.” Now that I think about it, Snow never
did release anything worthwhile, so he doesn’t really fit in
with this comparison.
Anyways, the point is that when people look back on the 20th
century, there are only three major recording artists that they
will remember: the Beatles, Michael Jackson/Jackson 5 and Huey
Lewis & The News.
Listen, I could rant about why pop musicians of today
aren’t even worthy of touching Michael Jackson’s
monkey, but the bottom line is he isn’t the King of Pop for
nothing. The guy has been performing on stages long before he could
even spell puberty, and his efforts have been well received up
until the last few years.
One day there was his music playing everywhere and everyone was
incredibly worried when he got burned while starring in a Pepsi
commercial (he ended up being fine, which is more than Spuds
Mackenzie can say). The next day, he’s the pinnacle of
outdated celebrity perversion, sharing his crown with the likes of
Pee-wee Herman.
It’s kind of funny; it seems like everywhere in the world
except America, Michael Jackson is just as popular as he has always
been. Now we’re busy idolizing the guys who are doing it all
for the nookie and the girls who are just doing it because they are
too old to be on “The Mickey Mouse Club.” I think,
however, that he will once again rise and prove exactly why
he’s called the King, and he’s going to do it this
year.
So why are Michael Jackson and his brothers so great?
First of all, when it comes to funky dance moves the King is
pretty damn difficult to duplicate. I’ll admit I’ve
tried moonwalking so many times that I’ve probably contracted
enough static electricity to power all of Los Angeles for a couple
of weeks.
Second, the Jackson brothers wrote their own songs ““ which
is more than can be said for the beloved boy bands and pop divas of
today’s music scene. Sure Britney may have written a song on
her latest album “Oops! … I Did It Again.” But
“Dear Diary” is one of those songs that makes even her
most adoring fan immediately press the skip button on.
Third, Michael Jackson hasn’t just done all of the big
things in pop that go on today; he’s done them better. From
creating one of the first (and most expensive) music videos with
“Thriller,” to selling out stadiums all over the world,
no other pop icon comes close to Michael’s level of
exuberance.
And was it just me, or did the Backstreet Boys’
“Everybody” music video seem like a cheap rip-off on
the “Thriller” motif?
Fourth, of all the major boy bands, only the members of the
Jackson 5 can claim that they played their own instruments, with
the only other notable exception being Musical Youth ““ but it
only had one hit, the pro-marijuana track “Pass The
Dutchie.”
Of course, the sheep that loyally follow around the Backstreet
Boys will say that the group has learned to play guitar and are
thus musically talented. Maybe I’m just a great educator but
I could teach a dog how to play the guitar, at least to a certain
extent.
Maybe America has forgotten the fact that Michael has played the
funkiest Scarecrow in the history of Oz in “The Wiz.”
Maybe we forgot that the King played the title role in the 3-D
musical “Captain E.O.” that played at Disneyland. Or,
maybe we forgot that the greatest love song duet ever recorded was
“The Girl Is Mine” sung by none other than the
Liverpool lad Paul McCartney and our kid from Motown. Although,
Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson’s “To All The Girls
I’ve Loved Before” does come in as a close second.
Did I mention Jackson has his own theme park?
Although it is unclear as to whether or not Michael Jackson will
be touring at all, either for his solo album or with the Jackson 5,
one thing is for sure. The music scene will once again be set back
into motion once the King drops his new album on the world.
And even though the guys are getting up there in age, I think
that the Jackson 5 will inject a little vitality into the
increasingly monotonous rock/rap and pop acts that seem to pollute
the radio today. Hopefully Michael Jackson, along with his brothers
Jackie, Tito, Jermaine and Marlon, will be able to heal the world
of music.