Chez Shadman Shadman is a third-year
international development studies student who encourages you to
expand your sexual horizons. E-mail her questions and comments at
[email protected].
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Phones have many uses. They can be used for prank calls, making
appointments with doctors or even conversations with friends. I
have to admit, phones are very useful tools to have around.
I’m sure that you all know that phones are a great way to
keep in touch with people, but did you know that phones can enhance
your sex life as well?
Let me brief you on the subject. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m
talking about phone sex. Now I know to some, this topic (as well as
most topics pertaining to sex) is offensive and
“smutty.” These people must realize that sex is a
reality and that the topic of phone sex, though not discussed much,
is also a reality.
There is nothing wrong with two people attempting to make their
love life interesting, and phone sex is a definite way of doing
just that. Is there some kind of rule that says a person’s
sex life has to be boring? Besides, who said that sexual pleasure
can only come from two people having intercourse?
Not only is this a close-minded, exclusive way of thinking,
it’s also a pretty plain thought process.
A lot of people might be wondering why intimacy over the phone
is even referred to as “sex.” To be perfectly
honest, I have no clue. Nonetheless, that is the term the public
has given it and the name I shall be using from here on out.
To be able to partake in the act of phone sex, one has to be
open-minded. I get so tired of conservative people who view
experimentation as vile. I’m not saying that everybody should
experiment sexually, but they should at least allow others to
decide for themselves. Needless to say, I’m a big advocate of
everybody trying phone sex at least once.
Just to clear things up a bit, I’m not talking about
“976” numbers ““ although these do exist if
you’re interested. I’m talking about an intimate
experience that can be shared by two (or more) lovers. You see,
phone sex isn’t necessarily a dirty activity. I know that
people stereotype it as such, but it can be a very effective way in
which you and your partner get to know one another on a closer
level.
Phone sex is most handy when dealing with a long-distance
relationship. Whether your partner lives far away or is on a
vacation, it can be hard to deal with. There are even times when
your partner is a drive away, but there still is no way for you to
get together.
Do you just sit there feeling sorry for yourself? Of course not!
You pick up your phone and give her or him a call. Distance can be
a difficult thing to handle, and phone sex can alleviate the
situation immensely.
Contrary to popular belief, there are a few ways a person can
partake in intimate activity over the phone. If you are a shy
person engaging in this act for the first time, you might want to
discuss it with your partner first. Making sure that the two of you
are comfortable with the idea is the most important aspect. If one
of you is hesitant about the exercise, then your experience will be
more awkward than anything else.
To achieve complete fulfillment, you must both be willing and
unreserved. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to
immediately dive into the more risqué behavior. By all means,
take your time until you are at ease with the idea of being
intimate over the phone.
You might want to start off by just having a simple conversation
with your partner about your feelings for one another. This is a
great way to bond with your partner and let him or her know exactly
how you feel. This in and of itself can bring two people closer and
can also help with the fact that the two of you can’t be with
one another.
If this is too simple for you, or if you have gained the courage
to move forward, you can start playing make-believe. This can be
done by telling your partner what you would do to him or her
sexually if they were within reach. This might be a bit
embarrassing at first, considering the fact that most people
aren’t inclined to talk dirty.
Just remember that you are talking into a phone and not face to
face with your partner. Also remember that he or she is most likely
becoming aroused by it.
The two aforementioned techniques are a great starting point for
those of you who haven’t really delved into the land of
sexual experimentation. Of course, you don’t have to stop
there. If and when you are comfortable, you can certainly add
other, more interesting factors to the mix.
All the “dirty talk” will normally arouse a person
to the point where it is inevitable that he or she will want to
continue in some type of sexual activity. This is why masturbation
is so heavily associated with phone sex. Most people end up
masturbating with their partners over the phone. This, too, may
seem a bit awkward at first.
After all, if masturbation isn’t even looked upon as a
typical act among men and women, phone sex will seem even more
abnormal. That’s ok, though, because the feelings of
discomfort will soon be replaced with feelings of euphoria.
As you allow yourself more freedom to experiment with your body,
you may find that you are giving your voice more liberty at the
same time. This can open the door for more intense dialogue. The
more you participate in phone sex, the more at ease you will be
with it.
After a while, it will become a normal routine that you and your
partner enjoy even if you aren’t hundreds of miles away.
Intimacy over the phone, no matter to what degree, can make your
love life more interesting. It is an undeniably novel and exciting
form of sexual experimentation that not only brings two people
closer together, but also makes them more comfortable with
themselves.
Phone sex can be a key to unlocking the many sexual doors that
lead to bigger and better sex. It is this willingness that keeps
the sexual attraction between two people intense. In my opinion,
there is never anything wrong with two people trying to take their
sexual lives to the next extraordinary level. In fact, this should
be celebrated.
Phone sex is a great method, not only because it helps
strengthen the bond between you and your lover, but it also allows
you to explore your own desires and pleasure spots. You can
familiarize yourself with your own body, while still being intimate
with your partner.
You may also find your partner’s newly discovered
attributes more pleasing and attractive. For most, the dialogue is
a new and fun tool. Your partner may turn you on with his or her
voice and words or vice versa.
While the act of phone sex may seem foreign to most and even a
bit outrageous, it can be a maturing process for a
relationship. It can help mitigate the pains of long distance
relationships, while making an ordinary relationship
extra-ordinary.
Granted, phone sex may not be for everyone, but you
shouldn’t cast the idea aside without trying it. You never
know, you might end up loving it and the phone may serve a
different, highly entertaining purpose for you in the future.