Chez Shadman Shadman is a fourth-year
international development studies student who encourages you to
expand your sexual horizons. E-mail her questions and comments at
[email protected].
Click
Here for more articles by Chez Shadman
Sunday morning you wake up late (due to the heavy partying you
did the night before) and realize that there’s another body
lying next to you. You’re a bit baffled at first, but then it
hits you like a ton of bricks: you normally sleep alone.
So who’s this warm lump you’re spooning? Oh yeah,
it’s that person you slept with last night.
Growing up, we learn a lot about sex, but I don’t think
the nurse that came to speak to us in our third-grade classroom was
really intent on teaching us the rules of casual sex.
She, like most sex educators up until high school, was more
intent on teaching us about sexually transmitted diseases,
pregnancy and how to put a condom on a cucumber.
But did anyone ever mention to you that sex is also fun? They
certainly didn’t mention that we’d probably be using it
as a form of recreation in the future, or in other words, in
college.
College: the place where virginity gets lost in oblivion and
where sex is usually only one party away.
For most, it is not until college that we truly begin to
understand the prevalence and nonchalance of sex ““ especially
with the introduction of co-ed dorm halls.
Without a doubt, college is normally where all the fun and
experimenting begins. Experimentation, particularly at our age, is
crucial because it helps to shape who we become.
Casual sex has both avid supporters and staunch opponents. While
there are those who consider sex a sacred bond between two people,
others see it strictly as a fun activity to be shared with more
than one person.
I say sex can be both.
I am not suggesting you should go out and screw everyone you can
take down into the horizontal. I’m simply stating that casual
sex has its merits.
Having more than one partner can be wonderful because each one
allows you to experience something different. By having casual sex,
you also discover different aspects about yourself that would have
otherwise lain dormant within you.
Admittedly, there is a negative side to adding more people to
your sexual repertoire: there is an increased risk of contracting
an STD. And while precautions can be taken, there’s still
that slight chance that your condom could break or that, in a brief
spurt of passion, you “forget” to use one.
Unfortunately, the only one foolproof method of preventing the
contraction of STDs is through abstinence.
But thankfully, there are alternatives. You should make it a
point to be extra cautious when experiencing someone new by both
using reliable contraceptives and making sure you and your partner
have been tested.
Another precautionary step would be to stay away from
“Run-around Sue or Bob.” I’m an advocate of
sleeping with more than one person, but I definitely don’t
think it should be with the “village bicycle.”
The fact that there are risks involved when it comes to casual
sex, doesn’t necessarily make doing it a bad thing or ““
dare I say it ““ a “sin.” But unfortunately for us
ladies in particular, this hasn’t quite sunk into
society’s stubborn head just yet.
One-night stands and sleeping with different people are not
celebrated aspects of the female lifestyle. This is made evident
from the way in which society labels men and women who share in
these activities. A man is deemed a pimp for enjoying sex with more
than one partner while a woman is branded a slut or whore.
But men and women alike should have the right to engage in, and
enjoy, as much casual sex as they see fit.
Indeed, casual sex is a reoccurring theme of college life,
especially at UCLA. And while it’s OK to engage in casual
sex, it’s important not to take it so lightly that you end up
regretting your actions.
Waking up next to that special stranger may be adventurous and
fun, but it can also lead to trouble if you’re not
careful.