Adam Karon This year marked Karon’s
first Thanksgiving without Jell-O. E-mail him thoughts, ideas and
condolences to [email protected]. Click
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Welcome back, Bruins. Hopefully you enjoyed your Turkey (or
tofu-corn-wheat glutin-soy-rice-beans and lettuce molded into the
shape of a turkey) last Thursday. Of course, Thanksgiving without
turkey is like UCLA sports without a scandal, but I guess some just
don’t like to live on the edge.
Speaking of edges, I felt like jumping off of one located high
atop Bunche Hall following the last two weeks in UCLA sports. And
just when you thought things couldn’t get worse for Bruins
fans, word reaches us that men’s golf recently lost a heated
recruiting battle with USC for prospects Tyler Ley and Taylor
Wood.
But back to matters that Bruins fans actually care about.
On the surface, it did not seem like we as Bruins had much to be
thankful for heading into this year’s Thanksgiving
celebration. Scores like 27-0 and schools like Ball State are
enough to make any Westwood Warrior regurgitate the mashed potatoes
and stuffing that disappeared like an undefeated season this
fall.
But keep your gravy-greased chins up, fellow students, for there
is in fact plenty for which we can give thanks.
To start, we must all be thankful we chose the good side of Los
Angeles. Sure, those who are juniors have yet to experience the
thrill of an ‘SC kill, but at least we understand that a
higher education does not merely mean taking a class on the second
or third floor of Kinsey Hall.
It might be tough to wear our proud colors during the coming
year, but everyone knows that red makes your butt look bigger.
Besides, powder blue could even brighten Ray Charles’
eyes.
We should actually be thankful that football season didn’t
turn out the way most would have liked. I mean c’mon, do you
really want all the stress and nervousness that comes from having a
national championship contender? Fans in Norman, Okla. looked as if
they were anxious enough to pack up the wagon and follow Tom Joad
west after a crushing defeat to Oklahoma State this weekend.
At least we can say our rival school didn’t knock us out
of national championship contention!
I know you are all thankful that basketball is returning because
every letter I’ve read in the Daily Bruin for the past two
weeks seems to end with “¦ “wait until basketball
season.”
To be honest, I’ll be thankful when basketball is over.
You same people who currently call for the hardwood will probably
be screaming for Lavin’s well-groomed scalp come February.
I’m sick of the bad seats, sick of the fair-weather fans and
sick of the Pauley Pavilion security arresting that entertaining
dancing fool in the orange vest.
I am thankful, however, for four years of Dan Gadzuric, Matt
Barnes and even Ray Young. Sure they’ve been up, down and at
times non-existent, but at least they stuck it out as long as the
rest of their classmates. Young has decided to sit out a year in
order to represent you “super-seniors” next winter.
I am thankful for soccer, even if I think it is a sport for
people without hand-eye coordination and normal haircuts. Both the
men and women’s teams have made UCLA proud this season by
advancing in the NCAA tournament. If you’re still digesting
from this weekend and are looking for a place to sit while your
small intestine goes to work, head over to Drake Stadium on Sunday
to watch the women in their semifinal match against No. 6
Florida.
Those who have even more to digest or a malabsorption disorder
can hitchhike to Dallas, Texas to see the men’s team take on
Southern Methodist University come Sunday.
Everyone should give thanks that UCLA made women’s crew an
official sport in 2001. Now we all have something to do on Sundays
at four in the morning. That’s a huge weight off my
shoulders.
Thank goodness the Wooden Center is finally expanding.
Unfortunately, it will no longer be small enough to lift weights
with one arm while playing racquetball with the other.
I am eternally thankful for football games that mean nothing to
me. There is no better excuse for putting off a term paper than the
Grambling vs. Southern football game. Unless of course your paper
is due next week and you have to watch 2-8 Army take on 0-9
Navy.
First student to e-mail me the cities housing the last four
schools mentioned gets a UCLA vs. USC ticket stub from the 2001
“game.”
In closing, I would like to give thanks for the readers who
actually e-mail me ideas and wisecracks. The nights spent curled up
next to my Jim Everett doll are a little less lonely when I know
someone is bored enough (or enrolled in too many history classes)
to respond to these columns.