Barari is a fourth-year molecular, cell and developmental
biology student.
By Sony Barari
Dear Professors:
Midterms are for shit. I am now in my fourth year of
matriculation at this fine university, and if there is anything
significant I have learned during this period, it is that midterms
are a complete waste of time and utterly irrelevant to my academic
development. Let me enumerate the various points of contention that
have led me to this conclusion.
First, you seem to be utterly ignoring the fact that midterms
are supposed to be held only once a quarter. Hence the name
“mid-term.” Now, I’m no etymologist, but I think
it’s pretty clear that by presenting us with two, and
occasionally three midterms, you are deviating from the original
intention of midterms altogether.
Second, the concept of midterms is altogether obsolete. Nobody
studies for them. In a modern world based upon the increasing
technological advances of the information superhighway, people have
neither the time nor the dedication to study for a class more than
once or twice a quarter.
Is there any need to waste the vast amounts of time and effort
spent studying for a midterm that is only worth 15 percent of my
final grade? Instead of the anxiety experienced during
midterm-heavy periods of the quarter, I could be doing other
things, like drinking with friends. Certainly you will agree that
this is a much more worthwhile accomplishment than receiving a
mediocre grade on one test.
Which brings me to my proposal: do away with midterms
altogether. Who cares what I know four weeks into a class? It
should only matter what I have learned at the conclusion of the
course. There is a reason the World Series does not take place in
April (the Padres might actually make the playoffs), or why movie
critics don’t judge a movie based upon the first half hour;
it would be erroneously incomplete. No one finishes sex before
ejaculation and claims, “Oh wow, that was incredible. We
should do this again in three weeks.”
I don’t understand why school should be any different from
the movie industry or sex. Make our finals worth 90 percent or
greater. This will result in minimal stress during the quarter.
Besides, if I am presented with 10 weeks to study for one test, I
can virtually guarantee that I will do well on the exam. If I could
spend even half the time studying that I do trying to convince
professors that I was “really sick and couldn’t study,
so please drop my first midterm score,” I would learn so much
more.
Some would claim that a midterm helps the professors assess
their teaching and to better address the needs of the students. But
I don’t even go to class half the time, and when I do, I am
busy flirting with members of the opposite sex or doodling in my
notebook, trying to pretend I’m taking notes.
Come on, we are college students at a top flight university. We
are beyond the nuisance of nonsense midterms. Why aren’t
there seating charts in college? Because we’re too mature.
Well, by the time I’m an upperclassman, I’m too mature
for midterms.
I can somewhat understand the need to acclimate freshmen and
sophomores to the pressures of test-taking, but by my 80th test, I
think I’m ready to go hit-or-miss with the final. Have you
ever heard about Plato giving his students a midterm? Or how about
George W. Bush missing a roundtable discussion on nuclear arms
strategy because he’s got a “big-ass midterm tomorrow
morning?” No, you do not, because these are adults. And so
are we, so please start according us proper respect.
And I can virtually guarantee that neither you, the professor,
nor your teaching assistants, are particularly fond of
administering these tests.
You are burdened with the momentous task of writing a midterm
and then grading these tests. Do you really enjoy reading
half-assed responses to questions the students did not know?
I can’t imagine the excruciating experience this must be.
It is therefore mutually advantageous to both teachers and students
to do away with midterms. And don’t even get me started on
quizzes and “participation points.” Please.
I hope you will consider these points, and make an educated
decision concerning midterms. I have faith that you will make the
correct choice regarding the dissolution of the archaic and stilted
practice of giving midterms.