Keely Hedges Hedges is a second-year art
history student and the Daily Bruin’s new dating and relationship
guru. E-mail her at [email protected].
Breaking up with the supposed love of your life lends itself a
plethora of contradictions and ambiguities. As much as you want to
take those pictures off the wall, abstain from calling, and
repeatedly tell your friends you’ve broken up, the question
still remains as to what to do about the foreboding months without
regular sex that will ensue during your new state of
singleness.
For many, going cold turkey on all the enjoyments of coupled
life is neither an option nor a desire. The sex that had become so
much a part of your previous relationship is something that
can’t be instantly thrown away in the face of emotional
overkill and despair. Thus, the ambiguous breakup ensues,
consisting of casual sex with the ex while there are seemingly no
strings attached.
When couples have been together for a substantial amount of
time, it’s only natural that they develop some mechanized
type or regular approach to the art of lovemaking. And for anyone
who has grown accustomed to this, giving it up could mean embarking
on a dating life of whoredom. But why not save yourself the trouble
of awkward first-times, one-night stands and drunken booty
calls?
If both partners agree that the sex was just too good to give up
and can live normal, healthy lives while engaging in the act of
casual sex, so be it. The idea of consensual, emotionally
unmitigated lovemaking sounds appealing to anyone. It’s only
natural to want to make love with someone you’re comfortable
and familiar with. So, why not do so without the tumultuous
relationship attached?
Unfortunately, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
And having sex with your ex-lover post-breakup is not going to
satisfy your sex drive or create a pleasant situation for anyone.
Inevitably one partner will begin to feel used while the other may
find a replacement.
Dumpees are the ones ultimately cheating themselves by rewarding
those people who previously took their hearts and crushed them.
Exes shouldn’t enjoy special girlfriend/boyfriend privileges
anyway. Furthermore, what do you say to the people around you?
Yeah, we broke up but we still have sex.
The best thing to do in avoiding the ambiguous breakup is to
move on, explore the dating world, and just say no to sex.
Resolve post-breakup can only be found by absolving those things
you did when you and your ex-lover were together.
Besides, prostitution is a paid profession; so don’t give
it up when you aren’t getting any.