By Keely Hedges
DAILY BRUIN CONTRIBUTOR
Be warned, Bruins: now that you’ve made one of the biggest
decisions of your life ““ if and where to go to school ““
you are faced with an even more gut-wrenching decision. And no,
I’m not talking about your fall quarter schedule or what UCLA
paraphernalia you should purchase. Rather, I’m talking about
what to do about that high school sweetheart you love and adore. Is
it time to call it quits, or are you ready to seal the deal on
long-distance love?
Both decisions come with a long list of pros and cons, and
neither decision is an easy one. Luckily, I am the self-proclaimed
dating and relationship guru, and have utter confidence that I can
help you in solving this particularly common, but inevitably
impossible, dilemma. The two questions one must posit before even
thinking about making this decision are: Do you love your
girl/boyfriend? and How much do you love your girl/boyfriend?
This is an especially tricky thing to come to terms with because
many would argue that at our age we don’t know what true love
is and often confuse love with infatuation. However, I would say
that the majority of college freshmen are mature enough to assess
the status of their relationship in regard to the difficult concept
of love. If you can already answer the first question negatively,
you are well on your way to breaking it off.
The second question involves how willing you are to make your
relationship work even if you’re located hundreds or
thousands of miles away from your lover. This basically boils down
to two concepts: trust and loyalty. You must be able not only to
trust your girl/boyfriend, but also to exercise the same loyalty to
them. College, replete with sin and temptation, is perhaps the most
treacherous, evil place when it comes to possible interactions with
the opposite gender.
However, if you love your girl/boyfriend enough to want to avoid
sexual persuasion from the opposite sex, sticking together could be
right up your alley. Long-distance romance will only work if both
partners envision a mutual future spent together. The same amount
of love, devotion and patience must be exercised if both of you are
to remain happy with the type of relationship you will be forced to
endure.
Knowing that the telephone and the Internet will be preferred
methods of communication for a very long time also has to suffice
for the both of you. You and your girl/boyfriend must also remember
that the wonderful, blissful sex that you worked so hard to perfect
will have to be abandoned in the face of physical distance.
On the flip side, I would reserve breaking up for those people
who just want to be single. It’s one thing to be unhappy
because you can’t physically spend time with your
girl/boyfriend, but it’s an entirely different thing if
you’re unhappy because you can’t spend time with anyone
else. If you even think that you may want to kiss/touch/go out with
someone else while in college, you better break it off before you
become that unfaithful, cheating ex. For many, college is a world
yet to be explored, and doing so solo can be an experience of a
lifetime. If you know that doing the long-distance thing will be
wrought with jealousy, envy and frustration, become newly single
and enjoy the luxury of singledom at UCLA.
The hardest thing to gauge about your first-year at college is
what you want insofar as relationships go. Having a girl/boyfriend
from home could be comforting and reliable, but it could also place
unwanted restrictions on your social life. On the other hand, while
being single could yield vast amounts of attention from the
opposite sex, it may also risk the loss of the prior love of your
life.
Knowing what you should do is never easy, but luckily this
decision is based solely on you and what you’re willing and
capable of doing. Saying “goodbye” to your
girl/boyfriend doesn’t have to be forever, and having a
girl/boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re kissing your social
life goodbye. Both decisions have the capacity to be both promising
and futile, so take the time to weigh your options and hopefully
you will do the right thing.