Most incoming freshmen welcome the UCLA experience with open
arms. But for students who have been here for a while and know this
university has many issues and problems, the following scenario is
not only nostalgic, but also an indication of what many might face
on an average day at UCLA:
Joe Bruin wakes up the same way every morning ““ to the
screeching sound of his roommates’ alarm clocks. Both go off
before he has to be up, but there’s no avoiding the noise
since he’s cramped into a small room in Hedrick Hall with two
other students.
Tired but unable to sleep, he decides a short workout is the
best way to start the day. He clambers out of his lofted bed,
careful not to step on the mice who also share his room.
When he arrives at the Wooden Center, he is denied entrance
because there is a hold on his account. Incredulous, he goes back
to his room to check his account status on URSA.
URSA, of course, is inexplicably down and he can’t find
out what the mysterious hold is. Which might be just as well
““ if he could, he would be infuriated to find out his
financial aid check never came through so housing has placed a hold
on his account for not paying his rent.
His classes start in just six hours, which means he has just
enough time to go buy his textbooks from Ackerman Union.
Five hours and 45 minutes later, Joe is counting himself
fortunate for the short line at the bookstore that day. He is, of
course, hungry and decides to grab a bite before he goes to class.
He picked up meal coupons from his residence hall that morning to
receive a whopping $1.60 cents off any food purchase on campus,
making the coupons worth roughly one-third what he paid for each
meal he has in the dining hall.
He might have been better off not eating at all ““Â a
giant billboard with aborted fetuses sitting on Bruin Walk with
anti-abortionists preaching around it, causes him to nearly lose
his lunch anyway when he steps out of Ackerman.
Joe is, of course, shocked at the images he sees and stumbles.
All those heavy books come crashing down on his arm, causing a
severe sprain. He gathers his books under his one good arm and
makes the walk across Westwood Plaza to the Arthur Ashe Center to
seek medical treatment.
On his way down Bruin Walk, Joe is approached by a mob of people
““ some are trying to offer free Bible studies, others are
handing him fliers inviting him to join a fraternity, and Calpirg
is explaining to him why the environment will be destroyed if he
doesn’t pledge $5 per quarter to them.
He finally gets to the Ashe Center, where they make him fill out
a medical history of himself (with his functional arm) and ask him
to wait while a nurse is found ““ after an hour passes by, Joe
begins to wonder if they’ve forgotten about him.
Joe is extremely worried at this point anyway because he’s
missing class; but when he remembers there are 350 people in
lecture, he figures he can borrow someone’s notes.
What really gets Joe worried though, is that he isn’t sure
his insurance will cover the services at Ashe. But the receptionist
assures Joe he has nothing to worry about, though: the university
had signed him up for its own health insurance policy without
telling him anyway ““ it’s better to be double covered
than not covered at all, he supposes.
By the time Joe finally gets out of the Ashe Center, he is
understandably upset about the way things are run at UCLA and goes
looking for someone to fix it.
When he gets to the Undergraduate Students Association Council
offices, however, he is greeted with just one response:
“Would you like to fill out a survey?”
The prospects of anything coming from the survey are anything
but sure, but Joe goes ahead and fills it out anyway. When he
leaves, though, he decides to seek out a higher power to fix his
problems ““Â the chancellor himself.
Albert Carnesale is finishing up securing a donation when Joe
storms into his office. He rants about his cramped living quarters
and the mice scurrying around on his floor. He fumes about Wooden.
He complains about the construction on campus and agonizes over the
excessive health coverage and lack of health care.
When he finishes, the chancellor quietly folds his hands and
puts on his best look of concern. “Well, Joe,”
proclaims the chancellor, as if wisdom is falling from his lips,
“all issues are worth exploring.”