I’m sure that just from the headline, a number of readers
have already quickly jerked their eyes to another story, and many
who haven’t (male and female) are either nodding their heads
or noticing that their blood has begun to bubble.
Well, for those red-faced responders that have already gotten
their laptops out and are looking for my e-mail address, rest
assured this will not be written from a feminist perspective (sorry
ladies, but as a side note, I do feel females are superior).
Thus far my classes at UCLA have been predominately taught by
male professors. Now if I were still in junior high this would
probably give me a few opportunities to have great fantasies and
might motivate me to wake up extra early in the morning to put
make-up on.
However, I am now at a large university where the stereotype of
the old male professor telling dull jokes is the norm. Now
don’t get me wrong, I have had my share of wonderful male
professors, old and dull, but statistically the few females I have
had have outperformed them in numerous categories.
For starters, many female professors actually have a sense of
humor. Now I will admit that I have always found male comedians to
be funnier than female ones, but that standard has not held up in
the UCLA classrooms.
Granted I have had a few pretty funny male professors, but for
the most part, I’ve been giving a fake giggle and a simple
roll of the eyes. The female professors, on the other hand, either
tell funny jokes or don’t make any attempt at all. They
simply don’t try so hard to get the title of
“˜knee-slapping professor of the year’ and by doing so
actually make people laugh.
In the classroom, appearance does count, and the female
professors that I have run into thus far are far more pleasant to
look at than their male counterparts. In other words, females can
admirably look at their professors with the thought, “See,
you can be a professor and still look good” and the males can
either pleasantly look or heavily drool and fantasize (depending on
the specific professor).
OK, I know, let’s not forget education. My female
professors have better taste in reading material and are more
interesting lecturers. I have also noticed that they tend to assign
a reasonable amount of reading that actually may result in people
opening their books.
The male professors, for whom I’m always buying numerous
books, assign reading as if we are all like that large man with
glasses on the speed-reader infomercial who reads faster than I can
turn a page.
Once you get behind in these classes, which usually happens on
day one ““ or day two if you have perseverance ““ you
figure why even bother reading; you’ll just read for one of
your other classes (the one taught by the female professor).
And finally, there’s personality. I find it easier and
less intimidating to ask UCLA’s female professors for help
than the male professors. In the past, when I approached a female
professor, she would present herself with a huge smile and appear
to be happy to help me. The males on the other hand looked stoic
and appeared as if they were doing me a huge favor.
Who knows, maybe the females are just putting on an act and are
really thinking, “Oh, great, here comes another loser to
bother me,” but as long as they continue to make students
feel comfortable, it doesn’t really matter.
Therefore the female professors have qualities vastly superior
to their male counterparts.
Finally, a note to my male professors that either recognize my
name because I am currently enrolled in their classes or will be in
the future, this article does in no way apply to you because you
are, I’m sure, all wonderful professors.