The Bruin made me a bartender, a bitch, a masseuse, a
confidante, a malicious gossip, a cook to the masses and perhaps
most remarkably, a team player. It also gave me the confidence to
spout rhetoric.
A summer stint as acting copy chief taught me that running a
newspaper section was something I could do, and something I
didn’t want. Being in charge of people? Fun. Administrative
duties? Not so much.
People will disagree with you. People will be stubborn. People
will manipulate you to get their ways. Sometimes, I will be one of
them. It’s best not to become overly agitated when this
happens. At any given time these disagreeable, stubborn,
manipulative people are also bastions of reason, flexibility and
generosity.
On the other hand, some people are just stupid. Try to
distinguish between the genuinely idiotic and those having
temporary eruptions of inanity. At some point, you will drink three
too many Black Russians or have 20 too few hours of sleep, and you
will be one of the latter.
If you are polite to everyone, most people cannot tell when you
hate them. Likewise, when you decide in the middle of the year that
the people you hated are actually quite likeable, no one will know.
Politeness and bluntness are not mutually exclusive.
Lose your temper strategically. One loud tantrum can prevent the
erroneous capitalization of “board of directors” for
years to come. Two loud tantrums make you annoying.
If you don’t get back problems from stress, the office
chairs should do the trick.
As a wise editor once said, “Everybody has midterms.
Nobody cares about yours.”
Taking a side is not the same as picking a fight. Being able to
see a conflict from multiple points of view is a talent, and useful
when trying to come to an agreement. It makes the world run more
smoothly. But to the female Daily Bruin employees of the future:
It’s not your job to keep the peace. Using “I can see
both sides” as a reason not to have an opinion is tempting
““ I do it myself ““ but ultimately it’s a copout.
Condemning people for speaking out against what they think is wrong
isn’t compassionate; it’s weak.
The Daily Bruin makes everyone an expert in something. Whether
it’s women’s water polo or the inner workings of ASUCLA
or the intricacies of hyphenation, by the end of a year you know it
cold. This expertise is not a byproduct, it’s a
responsibility. You are now one of a select few who know that
hyphenating adverbs ending in “ly” is morally and
grammatically wrong. Go forth, and disseminate!
Finally, a blessing: May the 2003-2004 Daily Bruin staff be as
passionately and idealistically cynical and dead inside as this
one.
Balkin is a third-year English student and was a Daily Bruin
copy deputy. Her blender bids the staff a fond farewell.