One can almost hear the theme song to the “Odd
Couple” when second-year business and economics student
Stephanie Connor and third-year psychobiology student Pargol
Khorsandi make an entrance.
Though the two students come from different backgrounds and
cultures, and attend classes in different areas of campus, they
became each other’s ideal roommate.
Connor and Khorsandi never knew each other before coming to
UCLA.
While Connor attended a small, all-girl, private Catholic school
in Woodland Hills, Khorsandi went to a large, coed public
school.
It was only when they were randomly assigned to be roommates in
the Saxon Suites that they met each other.
Both students had fears about how they would get along with
their new roommate.
Connor knew she was not being placed into a residential hall,
and believed she would miss out on all of the freshman activities
that take place in them, she said.
She also knew that her new roommate was a second-year student.
Because Khorsandi had already spent a year at UCLA, it was likely
she already had friends of her own, Connor said.
“I was afraid I was going to miss out because she
wasn’t going to be around,” she said.
When Khorsandi’s first roommate joined a sorority and
moved into the sorority house, Khorsandi was put in random rotation
where roommates are chosen by the Housing Office.
Khorsandi said she had her own apprehensions about her new
roommate when Connor told her she was blond and lived in the San
Fernando Valley during a phone conversation before move-in day.
“I was initially afraid “¦ she would turn out to be
the typical cheerleader/Valley girl,” she said.
The two students were able to dispel their preconceptions when
they met each other for the first time. They immediately clicked
and became friends upon meeting each other, the roommates said.
Also, Connor was not left to find friends by herself, but made
new friends through Khorsandi.
“I started bringing her out and introducing her to my
friends, and they took to her because she’s great,”
Khorsandi said.
The roommates also found out that they had similar interests in
music and in their attitudes toward academics.
“We both take our schoolwork seriously, but we’re
also laid-back,” Connor said.
When it came to academics, Connor and Khorsandi became helpful
toward one another even though their majors differed.
When either of the roommates had to take a general education
course in the other’s field of study, help was not too far
away.
“Where each of us may not be strong at something, we help
each other,” Khorsandi said.
Connor and Khorsandi said though they help each other get
through schoolwork, they also understand that they have different
academic interests.
“I’d say, deep down, Pargol likes economics, but
that would be lying,” Connor said.
Living together, the roommates also became aware of their
differing cultural and religious backgrounds. Where Khorsandi was
raised in a Jewish household, Connor was raised in a Catholic
one.
However, the two roommates have never had a problem with their
religious and cultural differences.
“We don’t step on each other’s toes just
because we have different backgrounds,” Connor said.
Connor added that she celebrated Hanukkah with Khorsandi for the
first time last year.
Connor and Khorsandi also manage to avoid conflict though they
have different levels of cleanliness. While Connor tends to
schedule days where she cleans everything in their shared space,
Khorsandi is more relaxed about cleaning, Connor said.
“I try to help when she vacuums ““ I put my feet on
the table,” Khorsandi said.
The roommates said they have not had any problems larger than
telling each other to be quiet when either of them needs to sleep,
Khorsandi said.
Connor and Khorsandi said they get along because they help each
other through hardships, thereby building a stronger bond. But
their easygoing nature also helps.
“Don’t dwell on the small stuff, because it’s
not worth it,” Connor said.
“As long as you’re open to new ways of living, then
(being roommates) works,” she added.
Sometimes, roommate situations don’t necessarily work out
as well Connor’s and Khorsandi’s.
If UCLA students encounter roommate situations that do not work
and are fraught with problems, they can choose to go to the
roommate doctor.
The roommate doctor, part of the Center for Women and Men, is a
UCLA service available to students who have problematic
relationships with their roommates.
“For people who live in the residence halls there’s
resident advisors. “¦ But when you live in an apartment, you
may not know who to go to,” said Tina Oakland, director for
the Center.
Students seeking assistance from the roommate doctor have come
in with problems such as safety concerns, verbal and physical abuse
and property damage, she said.
Problems may be prevented from arising when roommates take
certain steps. A few of these steps are setting healthy boundaries,
delegating responsibility and dealing with problems early on,
Oakland said.
She added that cultural differences may be the source of some
problems between roommates, but they can also be learning
experiences.
“Part of the challenge and part of the joy of being
roommates with people who have cultural differences is learning
from them,” Oakland said.
This ideal was true for Connor and Khorsandi, for whom being
roommates has been both a learning experience and a chance to build
new friendships.
“College is such a unique part of your life that I think
when you share that with somebody, it bonds you,” Connor
said.
The roommate doctor is available on a drop-in basis Mondays from
2 to 4 p.m., or during regular hours Monday-Friday 8-5 p.m., in the
Student Activities Center.