Never has the nickname “Slick Rick” been so fitting.
On Saturday afternoon in Salt Lake City, coach Rick Neuheisel’s UCLA team looked as if it was playing in a snow globe ““ not just because of the white flakes of precipitation, but because the Bruins at times looked visibly shaken.
The slick surface had players slipping and sliding; the outcome has the Bruins’ coach on equally shaky footing.
UCLA has now been outscored by a combined score of 134-12 in its last three trips to the Beehive State, but this one wasn’t like the previous two.
The Bruins got waxed by great Utah and Brigham Young teams in early-season contests. They weren’t facing a conference rival in a must-win game on the road.
Nor were they facing a particularly good team; after all, UCLA outgained Utah 295-291 (both are bad) and had the ball for five more minutes.
By no means were the Utes a juggernaut. UCLA was hot coming in, but just … froze.
One of the most indicative elements of the team’s performance: penalties. The Bruins were flagged 12 times for 91 yards, the majority coming in the first half.
My nose always starts to run in the snow, and even I’ve never had to pull out my handkerchief as often as those referees did.
Things got hotter as the game progressed, of course ““ the snowfall ceased and the playing surface looked more and more like a football field and less like Sarah Palin’s backyard.
But Neuheisel’s seat got hotter as well; the performance was miserable enough to negate a good amount of the positive feelings around the program following back-to-back wins over Cal and Arizona State.
The irony of the weekend was, even as UCLA all but cemented the fate of its coach with a mediocre showing, the Bruins moved a step closer to an improbable berth in the Pac-12 championship game.
Long after the game ended in Salt Lake City, Washington State pulled off a shocking upset over Arizona State that kept the Bruins and Sun Devils in a dead heat (pun intended) atop the Pac-12 South, with UCLA of course owning the head-to-head victory over Arizona State.
Intrigue abounds around the program now, and while bowl projections are one source of discussion, Neuheisel’s future is a much more fascinating topic. After all, the vibe around the guy changes quicker than Superman in a phone booth.
A week ago, basking in the glory of consecutive victories, there was talk of a long winning streak, a shot at a Pac-12 title, a decent bowl game and maybe even some job security.
Amazing what a week ““ and a change in the orientation of Jupiter, or whatever it is that causes weather ““ can do.
Saturday’s performance effectively snowed on that parade.
Now, with Colorado having pulled off its first conference win over Arizona, I even sense a bit of worry about the Bruins’ matchup with the Buffaloes this Saturday, long thought by many to be a sure victory. Now, who knows? It’s a slippery slope.
It might be the most frustrating thing about Neuheisel, these roller coasters that he seemingly has taken all of his UCLA teams on.
You can’t count on them to fold after being sufficiently walloped by Arizona, but you also can’t count on them to go for very long without unleashing a stinker like they did against Utah.
When it’s gotten to the point that you no longer have any idea of what kind of effort your team is going to put out, it might be time for change. All fans want the highs of beating an Arizona State, but those moments make losses like Saturday’s all the more perplexing, and frustrating.
There’s still at least two games to go, and the chances are still pretty good that the Bruins make it to a bowl game. But the standard for this program should never be merely making it to a bowl game.
That standard gets you fired at any school located between Texas and Florida.
Things were certainly slick for Rick on Saturday as he watched things slip away once more.
He’s been down for the count before, but he needed a better effort than this. What else could be in store, besides a firing? Hey, at least that sounds warm.
If you’d like to roast chestnuts ““ and coaches ““ over an open fire with him, email Eshoff at [email protected].