Monday, March 31, 1997
NATURE:
Is your personality type that of a people-loving canine or a
reserved, introspective feline?
As part of the game I play called life, I have recently begun to
divide the world into two categories: canine or feline. This has
nothing to do with any personal cat or dog preferences, and
everything to do with elements of the human psyche. The concept can
be partially illustrated by a Far Side cartoon where dogs at least
are able to hear their names whereas cats can hear … nothing.
Canines are gregarious, tail-wagging, hand-shaking,
how-do-you-do enthusiasts. They bounce forward at parties with
eager smiles and streams of small talk. They are your airplane
neighbors who converse about bad food, small seats and travel
destinations. They sympathize about the heat at amusement parks.
They crack jokes about the post office while waiting in line for
mail service. Canines attract people; my roommate is a canine and
the freaks of the world are invariably drawn to her. Day after day
she comes home with amusing stories about the harmless but strange
individuals who pester her; she always wonders why these people
never approach me. I tell her this is merely the price one must pay
for possessing a wagging tail.
Twitching tails characterize the quiet, introspective,
sensitive, whiskered feline category. Cats have an aura of personal
space. They glide forward at cocktail parties with slow smiles.
They swallow pieces of information and digest them at leisure. They
tolerate obligatory hugs. They are the people who, though silent
all quarter, flash forward with unmitigated brilliance at the final
review. Many view felines as untrustworthy, self-sufficient and
independent, but I would have to disagree. I trust felines because
I am one and, as a result, I know everyone experiences the same
overwhelming and terrifying feelings of loneliness. There are times
when solitude becomes scary and only human interaction can provide
a relief for frightening and ambiguous thoughts. To misquote John
Donne, "No cat is an island."
As I mentioned earlier, the separation into canine or feline has
nothing to do with any personal cat or dog preferences. Though I am
feline, I love dogs. An old friend’s loving chocolate labrador
still lingers in my memory, and my brother’s sturdy pug, Swifty, is
quite possibly my current favorite family member. I love the
friendly, eager, loyal aspects of all dogs. Conversely, I have
never quite trusted a cat. I find them too independent, secretive
and slinky. Ironic.
At the very least, the question "Do you consider yourself canine
or feline?" provides a worthy interlude in life’s eternal yawning
abyss of small talk. Yesterday, while in line with a friend at a
bookstore, I produced this query and was overheard by most of the
people around me. The woman in front of us showed extreme interest
in the question, asking its origins and the details regarding the
classifications. The cashier simply stared at us with a smile of
amusement. Yet, when asked how they would identify themselves, the
inquisitive woman declared herself purely feline, while the cashier
avowed himself to be canine. My metaphoric tail twitched but I
didn’t try to correct them. However, as a result of this
interaction, I would like to say that the canine-feline
classification is never one of personal preference. Though
admiration and emulation of both breeds is common, we do not choose
our own classification; rather, it is thrust upon us.
I believe that most people fit into either the canine or feline
group, but there are also those special people who do not live in a
dog and cat world. As a result, boundless categories of animals are
opened up for these people. Some personal favorites are the
porcine, bovine and vulpine, though other odd souls insist on being
characterized away from the Latin root, forcing such labels as
"ferret-like," "rat-boy" or "mousey." Though many of these
identifications are often self-imposed, I find them too cruel for
everyday usage. After all, very few admire the inherent natures of
rodents, cows or pigs.
The game of division between canine and feline was inspired by
an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story. In the story, the two entities
disliked each other in the usual cliche manner; however, in
reality, I believe that canines and felines do appreciate each
others’ innately different qualities. The acceptance and admiration
of the opposite class can only lead to success in a world which has
been deemed "dog-eat-dog."