Monday, March 16, 1998
March Madness afflicts all with basketball addiction
True fans must forget work, loved ones
in effort to absorb as much coverage as possible
"I got a basketball jones." This song by Chris Rock explains why
many people across the nation, whether they be a men or a women,
are glued to their TV sets for March Madness.
A basketball jones is a bad disease. It’s a sort of airborne
biological virus. Once you get a hit, you are locked down. Your
brain cells become directed to one thing: basketball. You eat, you
live, you dream NCAA basketball. You can’t get enough.
Having a basketball jones is like being in love – with hope,
elation and sadness. Nothing can stop you from watching the games,
not even that 10-page paper due the next day.
The first and second rounds have come and gone, and all I can
think about is, "What an orgasmic weekend."
The Richmond Spiders, reminiscent of 1989, knocked off South
Carolina. Valparaiso won in what has been the most exciting finish
through out the weekend. Syracuse staved off upset-minded Iona with
a trey.
Hell, even UCLA almost got upset by some hungry Hurricanes, but
with an out-of-control Toby Bailey pass and a soft shot by
Henderson, the Bruins prevailed.
When Valpariaso’s Bryce Drew took an ill-advised shot with 10
ticks left on the clock, I thought, "There goes the game." My heart
sank, and I was ready to turn the channel, but something amazing
happened. Ole Miss’ star player shanked his two free throws and
Valpo would pull off a major upset as Drew nailed a trey at the
buzzer.
Amazing. Impossible. Basketball.
The first two rounds of the NCAA tournament should be national
holidays. I want my spring break during the tournament. Who cares
if you have to break up our quarter. No one really pays attention
during class anyways.
Damn, let’s have a class at UCLA all about the tournament. I can
see a psychology class – Basketball 101: The Stupor Effect.
Communication Studies 107: Social Relations During the Tourney.
It’s all for basketball.
The first two rounds are what I watch the tourney for: the
upsets, the tears, the dreams of hundreds of players being smashed
or fulfilled through one shot.
Don’t get me wrong. The rest of the tournament is special, but
there are just not as many games to watch where the underdog can
shine. Last year was special, with Arizona shocking the world. This
year, who knows, maybe Michigan State or Rhode Island can shock the
world.
No. 1-seeds lose their meanings as the tourney wears on. Just
ask North Carolina, which had to go overtime against UNC Charlotte,
or Duke, which almost lost to Oklahoma State.
I got a bad case of the basketball jones.
Ask my girlfriend.
"Ya wanna go out? Arkansas’ playing … Wait till after the
games are done."
When the games are finally done for the night I need more
basketball.
"We can’t go now. Gotta watch the highlights on ESPN and
FoxSports … Wait till they are done."
By the time ESPN coverage is over, it’s midnight.
"We can’t catch a late-night show, honey … Gotta get some
sleep to catch the 9 a.m. game."
A friend of mine told me that he would rather go out with his
woman then to watch the UCLA-Miami game. I laughed at him and
asked, "But does your girl got game?"
There is another aspect of March Madness that is always
overlooked: the women’s tourney.
Hell yeah, I watch the women’s games on ESPN2. It’s basketball.
Once you get that fever you need more games to keep you running,
and the women’s tourney is the same as the men’s, minus the
dunks.
UC Santa Barbara stunned Vanderbilt. Great game. Stunning
outcome. In the lulls where there are no men’s games, I immediately
find a women’s game and it soothes my fever like chicken noodle
soup.
I have a suggestion for a TV mogul: one, big-ass NCAA tournament
station. Just play tournament games, men’s and women’s. I would sit
in a stupor all day long watching that channel. It would show
upsets, blowouts, focus on certain conferences in the
tournament.
Forget NBC’s "Must See TV." How about "Must SEC TV." They would
show Kentucky, Arkansas and the rest of the SEC in the tourney.
Instead of ActionPack on Channel 5, how about ActionPac-10. UCLA,
Stanford, Arizona, men and women playing hoops.
I can see the Neilson ratings going up now.
Let’s face the honest truth: Everybody loves basketball.
Rocky Salmon