Jeff and the Fresh Prints  Jeff
Kmiotek E-mail Kmiotek at [email protected]. Send comments,
analysis, questions or ‘SC jokes.
Welcome to the first installment of the Fresh Prints. I
won’t promise you anything, but I intend to fill this space
with sarcasm, seriousness, insight and nonsense as I column like I
see ’em. Also, I need your feedback, comments and questions
because this will be very interactive. So keep reading to the end,
get to Powell and e-mail me at [email protected]. Include your year and
major, and your thoughts may get printed.
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Your first assignment is to send me questions for receiver
Freddie Mitchell, and I will ask him and post the best ones next
week.
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With Big Brother finally over and Britney Spears touring in
Europe, the biggest bust in town once again belongs at USC. The
mighty Trojans struck out again Saturday, getting stomped on by the
Arizona Wildcats. Carson Palmer, star of the 1996 film “The
Great White Hype,” threw three interceptions, was sacked five
times and lost a fumble. But he was victorious in not breaking any
bones. USC’s kicker kicked as though Lucy from
“Peanuts” was holding the snap and their running backs
ran in place like Wile E. Coyote trying to flee.
“Coach” Paul Hackett’s hot seat is boiling,
and fans are calling for his head. Well, not Bruin fans, who love
the guy.
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Meanwhile, UCLA moved up three spots to No. 13 in the AP Poll on
their bye, while falling a spot last week after a nice comeback win
against 4-1 Arizona State.
Since it’s the halfway point of the season, here are my
halfway-point thoughts.
Offensive MVP: Freddie Mitchell. Mitchell is second in the
nation with 569 yards, despite playing with a reduced playbook and
a backup QB in UCLA’s first four games. While his mouth has
been open repeatedly this season, so has he. With Cory Paus back,
expect a 200-yard game.
Defensive MVP: Ricky Manning. This one is close with Robert
Thomas, but I’ll give the nod to Manning. He’s saved
touchdowns and made some great tackles, and since I hadn’t
seen that out of the UCLA secondary in so long, he gets my
vote.
Best play: Freddie Mitchell’s touchdown pass to Brian
Poli-Dixon to help UCLA beat Alabama. It was exciting, fun and
displayed how explosive the offense can be.
Worst play: Coach Bob Toledo’s decision to punt late in
UCLA’s loss to Oregon. If they had gone for it, who knows.
Instead UCLA threw in the towel.
The J.P. Losman award for stupidity: Those pesky pollsters.
Although I think a 4-1 team that’s beaten four bowl teams
should be higher than 13 (and No. 15 in the coaches poll),
I’ll accept UCLA’s rankings. But Kansas State No. 2?
The Wildcats’ six wins have come against teams who have a
total of seven wins. And then there’s 5-1 Florida at No. 10,
whose only big win was a gift against Tennessee. Just a bunch of
BS.
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Give credit to UCLA’s depth and recruiting, as they still
field a competitive team without their top offensive player
(DeShaun Foster) and top defensive player (Kenyon Coleman). Imagine
Virginia Tech without Michael Vick, Purdue without Drew Brees and
TCU without LaDainlian Tomlinson.
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Like UCLA, the St. Louis Rams had a bye, but still beat the
spread. Their offense is so good they could score in a convent.
They get in the end zone so much they should move their sideline
there. Referees’ arms are getting tired.
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On the flip side, the Chargers lost again. Ryan Leaf
didn’t play, but I’m sure he had something to do with
the loss. I’d say he was terrible, but I wouldn’t want
to insult terrible. The guy is such a stiff he makes Al Gore look
like a contortionist.
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Cade McNown’s Bears also lost again, this time to the
Saints, not scoring a touchdown on offense.
But I say give Cade a break, as he did score big with Playmate
of the Year Heather Kozar. As someone also dating a Playboy
Playmate, I know it can be difficult to concentait on yer wurk. OK,
she’s gone. Back to the column.
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The NHL has started its new season. Yeah, I don’t care
either.
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But since it involves Bruins of sorts, Boston Bruins’
Marty McSorley was recently found guilty of assault with a weapon
for a blow to Donald Brashear’s head last year. But this was
a case that should have stayed on the rink and out of the court.
Might as well prosecute every brawl, beaning and hard hit.
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I have something really interesting to say about the Olympics,
but in the spirit of NBC, I’ll tell you next month.
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Start spreading the news and the mustard. The Yankees will win
the Subway series against the Mets, and a certain sandwich shop
will get a lot of free pub.
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This week’s USC joke:
What does the average USC player get on his SATs?
Drool.