There were plenty of reasons to cry while watching the ESPY Awards.
Maybe it was Cincinnati Bengal Devon Still’s emotional speech about his daughter Leah’s fight against cancer. Maybe you cried while watching the late Lauren Hill say, “Today was the best day I’ve had, probably in my entire life,” after she wouldn’t let terminal brain cancer stop her from her dream of playing college basketball.
While it had plenty of tear-jerking moments, the awards show wasn’t without its share of controversy either. Should LeBron James have won for best championship performance? Was Odell Beckham Jr.’s catch the best play of 2015?
But the ESPYs’ biggest source of controversy came before Wednesday’s ceremony. News that Caitlyn Jenner would receive this year’s Arthur Ashe Courage Award prompted NBC sportscaster Bob Costas to call it a “crass exploitation play.”
And I’ll admit, I started off a little cynical myself. I have nothing but the utmost respect for Caitlyn Jenner, but prior to Wednesday, ESPN’s decision to give her the award felt a lot like a ratings push to me.
But sitting in Microsoft Theater and watching her accept the award made me feel my eyes start to water for the third time that night. Good thing I was sitting in a poorly lit section.
Through the video package I learned that Jenner trained independently without a coach and had to sell insurance at night to support herself before she won the decathlon in Montreal in 1976.
The video taught me that the fame Jenner received from winning a gold medal made the world view her as a paragon of masculinity, at the same time blinding them to her identity of a woman that she kept inside.
“It just broke my heart,” said Esther Avry, Jenner’s mother, during the video package. “And I had no idea. Of all people, your mother should have a better insight than that.”
I also learned that in the late 1980s Jenner started hormone replacement therapy, but backtracked because of her concerns on how her family would be affected.
Yes, the video enlightened me about the timeline of Jenner’s transformation, but I think the real victory of emotions is how strongly it made me empathize.
In January 2014, after decades of keeping her true self hidden, Jenner underwent surgery to reduce her Adam’s apple. It was a decision she made in private, but the media made sure it would go public.
There was an image of Jenner sitting in the driver’s seat of her car, crying, followed by various videos of her trying to live incognito – each time with a hoodie on, head lowered, but carrying a trail of insufferable clicking of the camera shutters.
The video detailing the egregious invasion of Jenner’s privacy was accompanied by a voiceover that revealed Jenner’s contemplation of suicide.
“I’m thinking, ‘You know what, you have a gun,” she said. “Kind of an easy way out. No more pain, no more problems.”
It’s hard to imagine walking in the shoes of someone living a double life in a society that has traditionally favored cisgendered heteronormativity. The heartbreaking anecdotes from tearful family members and footage of paparazzi callously pointing cameras in her face doesn’t give me a complete understanding, but it does help put it in perspective.
We live in a world that’s experiencing a cultural revolution of acceptance, and I think a lot of the credit for that goes to the openness and access of education we all have.
I grew up in a time of ignorance, when terms used to describe homosexuality or being transgender would connote something bad and be used freely as insults, and when someone’s sexuality would be the source of gossip and snickering. It was a time when there were a lot more people, myself included, who were part of the problem.
But because of messages from outspoken members of the LGBT community, activists and friends, I learned how those attitudes can hurt a large number of people.
I still feel an immense amount of guilt when I think of how I used to act. I don’t think it’s something I can ever erase, but because of the education I received, I no longer propagate that kind of hate, nor will I ever do so in the future.
Education is the hope we have to sway current detractors and cultivate future generations, because more and more people are learning each day, just like I did years ago.
However, even though we live in an America that just legalized same-sex marriage nationwide, there is still a lot of ground to cover for transgender individuals.
Having Caitlyn Jenner advocate on a public stage for acceptance of transgender people is a step in the right direction to bringing that change.
Yes, there is controversy surrounding this year’s Arthur Ashe Courage Award. Some people believe it’s Disney’s attempt to elevate the ESPYs. There are others who believe Jenner is trying to promote her new show “I Am Cait.” D.L. Hughley thinks she doesn’t deserve the award for “(putting) on a dress.”
Guess what? It doesn’t matter.
The focus should be on what Jenner did with the platform and not on the circumstances leading to her receiving that opportunity. And this excerpt from her acceptance speech highlights that:
“If you want to call me names, make jokes, doubt my intentions, go ahead, because the reality is I can take it. But for the thousands of kids out there coming to terms with being true to who they are – they shouldn’t have to take it.”
Jenner used her 65-year struggle to open doors to discussion about learning to accept others who share a similar plight.
She spoke up for the people who were called names because they didn’t identify with the gender on their birth certificate. She stood up for Alabama teenager Mercedes Williamson and the many others before her who were murdered for being different.
In the summer of 1976, Jenner fought to inspire a nation to love America again.
In the summer of 2015, Jenner fought to inspire the world to love one another – no matter how different the other person may be.
